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Impact Write-Up (March 17th, 2011): The Street Fight That Never Was…

My, how the time flies. I feel like I just did this. Haha. Last week, we saw a six way tag team match between The Beautiful People and their paranormal counterpart against a midnight snack, a bowl of spicy salsa and their mile-wide hip…ster, Angelina Pivarnick. We also saw the quick and fruitless return of former TNA Knockout, Roxxi, to the Impact Zone. Needless to say, it was a definite sight to see. This week, we have yet another installment of the championship open challenge, as well as a mixed tag team street fight that is bound to leave us all scratching our heads. Are you as excited as I am? Oh come on. I know you are. It’s time to flip the switch and shine the light! Vamos!

Our fight glimpse comes from the trailer park behind the arena, where Angelina Love and Velvet Sky are seen prepping for their match later in the night. Well, A. Love is grooming her blonde locks while Velvet seems far too pumped. She tells Angelina to go after the little one while she finishes some unfinished business with Sarita. A. Love, all the while, seems none so interested and almost spaced out while Vel Vel rambles on, talking about how excited she is that they are finally going to be teaming up again. Because they totally didn’t do that a couple of weeks ago or anything. Geez! Anyway, in comes Winter, much to Velvet’s dismay and she informs Velvet that it will not be her in the street fight. Instead, Vel is out and Winter is in, due to Velvet’s jealousy this past Sunday at Victory Road. Winter goes to pull Angelina away but Velvet is hellbent on trying to convince A. Love that it wasn’t her fault they lost at the pay-per-view. She is sticking to her guns that she was only trying to help them. All Angelina can do is simply look annoyed and confused, albeit even, under the influence of drugs. I’m pretty sure Winter is slipping her ruffies.

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SmackDown Redux (March 18th, 2011): Lay-Cool Build Momentum on the Road to WrestleMania

My biggest pet peeve as a wrestling fan is when I read spoilers and the only description the Diva match gets is “it was a typical Diva match.” Well seriously, what in the world does that mean? Is that your polite way of saying the match was crap? An even more polite way of saying that you didn’t even watch it so “a typical Diva match” just sounds good enough to send in? I don’t get wrestling fans. I really don’t. They’re the worst sports fans in the world. They never look outside their specific comfort zone. It’s awful and ridiculous, and before I turn this into a full fledged rant, let me just get back on subject by saying this was NOT a typical Diva match. I don’t know what that means. This match was a chance for Kelly Kelly to showcase how far she’s come and how she’s able to kind of carry matches now. And it was also a chance for Layla, Kelly’s opponent, and Michelle McCool to start building up their characters towards Wrestlemania. The match itself was short and sweet, but the action itself was a lot better than the offerings the past couple of weeks.

Lay-Cool make their way to the ring first. They’re clearly back on the same page and Michelle is back to being a fashion goddess with her amazing grey mini-dress this week. Talk about one flawless looking human being! Layla looks like she always does, in case anyone cares. Unless she’s wearing the wrapping paper ring gear she looks gorgeous. So yes. Anyway, as Lay-Cool make their way to the ring, SmackDown cuts to a commercial break. It returns with Layla in the ring and Michelle sitting at the commentary booth. Josh Matthews and Booker T are hilariously no-selling Michelle, and she doesn’t even care. She takes over the broadcast with Micheal Cole. Brilliant.

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Raw Redux Does WWE Superstars (March 17th, 2011): Oh Yes, It’s Ladies Night…

Hello all! Once again on Superstars, the Raw Divas are elevated to the main event in a match that pits Eve, Natalya, Gail and Tamina vs Melina, Alicia Fox and the Bella Twins. Watch below:

After making their entrances, all Divas are in their respective corners as Tamina starts off for the babyfaces and Brie for the heels.

The two sexy, smart and powerful Divas lock up in the center of the ring. Tamina pushes Brie back with great ease, showing off her strength. Brie takes a minute to regroup by the ropes before heading for one of the Pacific Islander’s legs only to be met with a headbutt for her trouble. Brie has had enough for the moment as she tags in the Fox-iest one of them all. Alicia steps in, narrowing her eyes at the babyface Diva and greeting her with a stiff kick to the quad which temporarily takes her opponent down. The redheaded Divas hits a few stiff arms to the back before bouncing off the ropes and straight into a hard shoulder block from Tamina.

The towering Diva grabs the evil Fox by the hair, dragging her back to the babyface corner, hitting a stiff arm to the bad and tagging in Gail Kim. Kim wrenches the arm of Alicia but is immediately slammed down on her back to break the hold. Alicia grabs hold of the midsection of her new opponent, lifting her up in what looks like a belly to back suplex but ends up taking Gail down onto her stomach. Miss Fox maintains the hold for a moment but the babyface Diva is able to maneuver herself out of the hold and gains the upper hand with a headlock.

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Raw Redux (March 14th, 2011): Snooking for Some Stratus-Faction

It’s here! The day we’ve been waiting for all… week? Snooki of the Jersey Shore made her long awaited and highly anticipated WWE debut as a guest host last night. Oh yeah, and someone named Trish Stratus — you may have heard of her — had a match against Vickie Guerrero. But that’s not why you’re reading this, right?! You want to hear about all the hard-hitting Snooki action, so let’s get right into it, shall we?

First we have a backstage segment featuring Snooki and Vickie with Dolph Ziggler and John Morrison playing supporting roles. Let’s see how the drama unfolds:

The segment starts off with Snooki and JoMo chatting backstage for some reason. I wasn’t really paying attention to what they were saying, but I’m assuming they were comparing spray tans. Right as Snooki offers Morrison a spot in the Jersey Shore house, Vickie and Dolph make their entrance. Vickie tells the ‘Princess of the Poof’ to keep her hands off of Dolph. Confused, Snooki asks Vickie what her problem is and Vickie tells her that Snooki getting the cover of Rolling Stone is her problem. Vickie goes on to say that she was offered the cover of Playboy, prompting Snooki to make a predictable crack on Vickie’s weight. (Insert pot and kettle joke here).

Offended, Vickie goes to slap Snooki, but Snooki blocks it and lays Vickie out with a slap of her own. Ouch. John Morrison quickly rushes Snooki away, leaving Vickie to stew in her rage and punch poor Dolph in the chest.

Not a terrible segment to be quite honest. I was expecting much, much worse. Also, Snooki’s slap looked like it hurt like hell. Guess she was taking out some of pent up anger from that time she got punched in the face…

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TNA Victory Road in Review: The Loco Latinas Spice Up the Gold!

If only the road to victory were always paved with gold. This past Thursday on Impact, we saw a six way match between The Beautiful People, Angelina Love and Velvet Sky teaming up with Winter to take on Cookie, Sarita and Angelina Pivarnick of the Jersey Shore. Yeah. That’s what I said..however, thankfully, TBP and Winter survived and now, the real Angelina and Winter must team up to defend their coveted TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championships. Who are their opponents, you ask? Well, only the Loco Latinas, Sarita and Rosita of course! I know you’re ready for this and I can say that I’m ready for this. So let’s do this!

The Knockouts action for the evening begins with a backstage segment with The Beautiful People and Winter, interviewed by Christy Hemme. The resident backstage redhead congratulates Velvet Sky on her win over Sarita and maintaining her spot with the company. She also points out that what seems the most surprising is not that win but the fact that Winter actually defended Velvet this past Thursday on Impact. Winter states that her actions last week proved that all she has ever wanted is for all of them to have friends. She says she doesn’t have an issue with Velvet but Velvet has an issue with her. She is just glad that Angelina has finally seen it all too. She is totally jealous of those leggings you’re rocking, Winter. I mean, who wouldn’t be? Velvet can’t believe it but given how Angelina just walked away, I’m wondering if she’s starting to as well… (Apologies for the lack of video).

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Impact Write-Up (March 10th, 2011): The Beautiful People Send Angelina Swimming Back to the Jersey Shore

So last week, we saw a monstrosity of a wedding that never should have happened in the first place. I mean, who renews their vows after only six months of marriage? Exactly. We also saw the continuing battle between Velvet Sky and Sarita which turned into a fist pumping party for Angelina from the Jersey Shore. This week, we’ve got that oh so awaited six way match featuring Miss Pavarnick as well as another installment in the Madison Rayne Open Challenge series. I know you’ve waited a week for it. Don’t lie. So grab a slice of humble pie, this show is about to get interesting.

Our first glimpse into Knockout beauty comes in the form of a backstage segment between The Beautiful People, Velvet Sky and Angelina Love. They are seen sitting down, lacing up their boots for their six way tag match later in the evening. They’re talking about the Jersey Shore girls and how they just can’t get enough of TBP. Naturally, as if on cue, the trio of Angelina Pavarnick, Cookie and Sarita come strolling in, much to the delight of Vel Vel and A. Love who have them confused with the football team. I’ll admit. I choked on my sweet tea. Anyway, Angelina from the Shore, tells the entire room to shut the f*** up and states that Jersey girls tell someone they’re gonna kick their ass before they actually do it. Really? Is it that important that it deserves a pre-notification? She claims it is proper etiquette and she’s going to embarass them in front of their whole crew. Who that crew is, I have no idea.

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SmackDown Redux (March 11th, 2011): Welcome Back to SmackDown, Kaitlyn

It’s been brought to my attention that since the Elimination Chamber, SmackDown doesn’t really have a clear cut storyline for their Divas. Other than the Lay-Cool teased tension, nothing has happened for anyone unless they’re named Layla or Michelle McCool. Other Divas have of course had supporting roles in this storyline and this week, it was NXT season three winner, Kaitlyn, who got a chance to take a backseat to Lay-Cool. Kaitlyn has rarely been seen since winning NXT3 a few months ago so it will be interesting to see how far she’s come, if at all. Lets take a look at how it all plays out this week.

Lay-Cool are out first. Michelle seems to have gotten a new weave and Layla’s outfit doesn’t look like an eyesore this week. Michelle, however, is not at her fashion best and I just can’t get behind the LBD/camel-colored boot combo. We are off and running, right? This is and always will be the Real Wrestling Fan’s guide to SmackDown. Kaitlyn out second with her own theme song and video. The song is horrendous but her new ring gear compliments her curves nicely; still hating on her hair. She gets a thunderous pop being the hometown gal and all, and it’s just nice to see her on SmackDown for a change.

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Raw Redux Does WWE Superstars (March 10th, 2011): A Matter of the Hart

Looking like a modern day version of the Oddities, Natalya teamed up with two of Raw’s behemoths — The Great Khali and Mark Henry — to take on her recent rival Melina and her partners, William Regal and someone that Miss Neidhart is very familiar with: Tyson Kidd.

With two members of the now defunct Hart Dynasty in this match on opposing teams, this match certainly had some intrigue about it. Check it out below:

It’s the Divas who kick things off in this match as the former champions lock up but almost instantly, Natalya rolls up the A-Lister but it’s not going to be that easy! Melina kicks out at one.

The Latina shows some of that spicy temperament as they lock up again and Melina slams Nattie down to the canvas by her hair. Adding the exclamation point, she lets out one of her patented wild screams in Natalya’s direction.

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Raw Redux (March 7th, 2011): The Divas Get Rick-Cole-d

After winning a No.1 Contenders’ Battle Royal on last week’s edition of Raw, I’m sure Brie Bella was primed and ready to take on Divas Champion, Eve, in a title match this week. Unfortunately for her, she was replaced by her twin sister, Nikki in the match. There’s a joke in there somewhere about ‘Twin Magic’. In any case, this week Eve went one on one with Nikki Bella with Brie Bella in her corner. To even up the odds, Eve brought along Gail Kim for back-up. Will the Bellas’ ‘Twin Magic’ score them another victory over the champ? Check out the match below:

We come from commercial to find Eve in the ring getting a pep talk from Gail Kim. I know I’m always getting on Eve for not showing much personality, but she is oozing disgust and disdain for The Bella Twins tonight. I must say I’m impressed. Out next are The Bellas and despite being in singles action, both are dressed for in-ring action. Come on, ref. You have to see what’s coming from a mile away…

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Impact Write-Up (March 3rd, 2011): Angelina Washes Up from the (Jersey) Shore

Welcome, my darlings, to the ever so late Impact Write-Up. I apologize for the serious tardy on my part. Unexpected twelve hour shifts at work are never a pleasant surprise. Now, onto the business at hand…last week, we saw the return of yet another former TNA Knockout in ODB in an answer to Madison Rayne‘s open challenge. We also saw an array of backstage segments between several other Knockouts that lead up to current happenings. This week, Impact is coming from Fayetteville, North Carolina and there is a special guest set to show up. We’ve got the ill-awaited “final” battle between two of TNA’s top Knockouts, set to end this war once and for all. Not to mention, that we’ve all been invited to a wedding! Oh Yeah. Why are we still discussing this? Let’s get this ball rolling!

In the ring first, accompanied by her tiny tot cousin Rosita, is Sarita. There’s a tongue twister for you. Set to due battle against Velvet Sky for the “final” time, to settle all the scores, Sarita is looking to dance her way through this match. I don’t really know what to make of their outfits so I won’t even being to scratch that surface. Obviously out next is Velvet, dressed in her signature color of pink and ready to get get this match started. It has been weeks after weeks of torment from Sarita and finally, Velvet has a chance to prove what she’s worth. She is accompanied to the ring by Angelina Love who looks glistening as always. Sorry guys but the pigeons are going to have to stay in the coop this week because Velvet is wasting no time getting in the ring and all up in Sarita’s grill.

Let me remind you, as Taz and Mike Tenay do several times, this match could very well be Velvet Sky’s last match in TNA if she can’t bring home the win. Anyway, Velvet is ready to do this but Sarita is set on playing games, turning around to cross her arms. The purpose? Don’t ask me. Haha. Grabbing a handful of Sarita’s hair, Velvet almost looks to pull her back but Sarita kicks back that leg, only to be caught at the ankle. Velvet comes at her with a clothesline and with a quick lift-up, Velvet counters on Sarita with a falling crossbody pin attempt. It is a quick no good and they’re both back up. A kick and a slap, double time and they’re going across the ring. I swear I got severely dizzy for a moment. I’ve been staring at a computer screen all day. Literally.

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SmackDown Redux (March 4th, 2011): One Loaded Boot Coming Right Up!

Welcome to yet another edition of the SmackDown Redux. As always it is written by yours truly and proudly sponsored by ClickWrestle dot com. Wait, this isn’t an audio show. It’s been a long week, what can I say? And honestly, speaking of long weeks, it’s a few long weeks since we last got a chance to see Beth Phoenix in action on SmackDown. This week, the Glamazon returned to the Blue Brand, teaming with her former Raw running budding, Rosa Mendes. They took on the team of former co-Diva Champions, Michelle McCool and Layla. How did the match go? Well lets take a look, shall we?

The team of Beth and Rosa make their way to the ring first. Brings back memories of Rosa being Beth’s sidekick doesn’t it? Beth is wearing her awful red Glamasuit (sorry David, but it’s an eyesore) and Rosa is wearing silver-gray and black. They pose for the fans once they’re in the ring and Lay-Cool’s theme music begins to play. Michelle and Layla, both in their eye sore outfits, do their usual shtick on the stage before they go to the ring. A video recapping Rosa’s shock win over Layla last week is shown and the dissension between Lay-Cool is teased despite the fact Michael Cole insisting everything is fine now. We switch back to the ring and Lay-Cool can’t seem to decide who will begin the match. Michelle finally takes the initiative and the bell rings. Beth and Michelle (hurt foot and all) lock up and the Glamazon is quick to get behind Michelle, lock her arms around her waist, and take her down to the mat. Beth hops up and grabs the injured foot much to Michelle’s horror. The ex-schoolteacher starts screaming and pleading, but Beth shows no mercy and slams her fist right into that boot. Michelle screams like she just got stabbed with a rusty butcher knife and while she’s withering around in pain, Beth tags in the Freakin’ Costa Rican, Rosa!

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In Video: Clip of Jersey Shore’s Angelina Pivarnick on TNA Impact

TMZ has an exclusive preview clip from tonight’s episode of Impact which will feature former Jersey Shore star, Angelina Pivarnick. In the clip, Pivarnick is seen (along with Cookie and Robbie E) confronting the Beautiful People for hanging out with her nemesis, JWoww when she appeared in TNA last year. Pivarnick challenges JWoww to a … Read more

Raw Redux (February 28th, 2011): The Bella Mafia Dupe Gail, Take Out a Hit on Eve

After picking up a surprising win over the Divas Champion, Eve, one might think The Bella Twins were in line for a title shot, right? Wrong. On this week’s edition on Raw, The Bellas along with Maryse, Tamina, Alicia Fox, Gail Kim and Natalya take part in a Diva Battle Royal for #1 contendership. Can The Bellas strike gold again and net themselves a shot at the strap or will some other lucky Diva come out on top? Check out the match below:

We kick things off with the champion, Eve, on commentary expressing her thought on the battle royal and facing off with the winner. The official signals for the bell and it’s every woman for themselves. Right off the bat, Natalya grabs Brie Bella and tosses her out of ring, eliminating her. Alicia follows her soon after, also eliminated by Natalya. Meanwhile, Melina knocks Tamina out of the running with a stiff kick to the head.

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SmackDown Redux (February 25th, 2011): Vickie’s Reign of Terror Comes to an End. Lay-Cool Continue to Fall Apart.

(Sorry for the lateness of this Redux. I don’t make this a habit but last night a migraine hit me and I couldn’t finish it. So yeah, apologies everyone.)

The six-hundredth episode of SmackDown went off without a hitch in my humble opinion and to say the Elimination Chamber was amazing would be an understatement. The momentum kept on rolling with a solid Raw, so with history not on the side of the Divas, this SmackDown can either be a hit, or it can be a total miss. I’m not entirely sure which it’s going to be because I’m writing this intro without having watched the show. So how about you great readers take this journey with me this week?

SmackDown doesn’t really waste any time getting started this week. Before the intros even roll, a video package highlighting last week’s firing of Dolph Ziggler is shown. This is relevant to us Diva fans because number one, Dolph is sexy, and number two, it involves Vickie Guerrero. And Vickie is made of win. Once the package concludes, SmackDown General Manager, Theodore Long, is shown on the screen. He says that due to Vickie’s involvement with Dolph and Dolph’s attack on him (Teddy), Teddy has every right to fire Vickie. But instead of doing that, he is going to give Vickie a chance to fight for her job. Tonight’s main event is going to be a mixed tag team match featuring the team of Vickie and former Intercontinental Champion, Drew McIntyre, taking on the team of Kelly Kelly and the World Heavyweight Champion Edge. If Drew and Vickie lose, then Vickie can kiss her SmackDown career goodbye. Teddy smiles, takes off his glasses, and the SmackDown intro begins to play.

Do you know the enemy….

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Impact Write-Up (February 24th, 2011): I Hope ODB Knows How to Count to Three!

Oh what a week it has been! I am so glad that now is the time for the weekly Diva Dirt TNA Impact Write-Up! I want to thank you for joining me and strapping in for this rollercoaster ride! Last week, we saw a beautiful former TNA Knockout return to the Impact Zone in the form of Traci Brooks. She took out the mean mugging Cookie to help her man, Kazarian. We also saw a hot sauce feud begin to come to an end between two current Knockouts and we were given a sneak peek into this week’s Impact. This week, we finally get to see how this Open Challenge fiasco is going to work for the self-proclaimed “Queen” of the Knockouts division. We are also graced with a load of backstage happenings that I can’t even begin to describe so let’s put this baby in gear and get on the road! It’s time for some action!

Our first glimpse of the Knockouts comes in the form of The Beautiful People, Angelina Love and Velvet Sky in their dressing room(aka the trailer park). Angelina seems to be trying to talk her BFF out of the career threatening match with Sarita, a challenge issued last week. Velvet says she’s aware of what Angelina is trying to say but what would Angelina do in her situation? A. Love comes back with the fact that Sarita is the point and Sarita is just loco. Not to mention, her little chihuahua of a cousin, Rosita, running around behind her. Angelina even goes on to say that it isn’t Velvet’s ability(like everyone else thinks) but it’s Sarita and she’s crazy. Velvet says it’s nothing personal but she just needs to be alone. She needs to be alone to collect her thoughts and that’s just what she gets. Angelina leaves Vel Vel to pinch her nose and battle her demons on her own. Oh Velvet. I feel for you but I hate your outfit.

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