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Maria Kanellis

Unwrapped: Eye Candy for the Week Ending September 26th, 2009

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In order to consolidate our Eye Candy coverage, we’ve developed a new feature: Unwrapped! We’ll take all the new photoshoots from the week and grade (or “brand”) each based on the following criteria:

• Appearance (hair, clothes, makeup.. you get the drift)
• Poses (are they versatile or just glorified statues?)
• Uniqueness (have we seen this photoshoot a billion times before?)
Grading scale: Sweet (Great)/Bland (Iffy)/Sour (Awful)

Courtney Taylor‘s Taylor Made
Appearance: Courtney’s got on a super-short yellow dress with a bubble hem. It’s nice that it’s loose, because it balances out the shortness of it. The accented collar adds an extra pop, and I love the differing shades of yellow.
Poses: The poses here are a lot less adventurous than the ones her her previous shoots, but she still works the camera. She just needs to not fall into a “statue-posing” rut.
Uniqueness: The dress is in a gorgeous shade of yellow. For some reason, you don’t see yellow too often on Divas.
Grade: Sweet. The itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow dress is cute–but not too simple–and Courtney herself just look fabulous.
• Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Daffney‘s Tough as Nails
Appearance: It’s all leather and denim here, with Daffney sporting a leather corset and collar with a pair of jeans. But what really catches your eye (*cough*) is her extreme eye makeup. It’s not really spooky like Katie Lea’s, but more so tough. I don’t want to say it makes her look like she’s got two black eyes, but I can’t help but think so. Maybe that just adds to her “extreme” persona, like she just got into a knock-down, drag-out fight with some girl that looked at her funny.
Poses: The glaring and baring teeth is fitting for her look without looking over-the-top or silly. She also looks surprisingly sexy in a few. All that considered, I’m guessing she did her job right.
Uniqueness: I think it’s safe to say that this style shoot isn’t uncharted territory for her.
Grade: Sweet. She pulls it off so well while distancing herself from other “gothic girls” like Katie Lea. She’s showing that this persona isn’t at two-dimensional as you might think.
• Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Katie Lea‘s Witchcraft
Appearance: Speaking of gothic girls, Katie Lea’s wearing what’s now become her trademark–black, black, and more black. Her eye makeup is getting more complex. And is it just me, or does that red scarf dangling down almost look like a huge trail of blood?
Poses: It’s the usual Katie Lea fare, but the cool foreshortening done in some of the shots looks a bit strange and unsettling, but definitely fits with the mood of the shoot. It’s like it’s mimicking her ~warped~ mind.
Uniqueness: Nothing new for Katie Lea (by a long shot), but I love the camera angles and different perspectives used in the shoot. Though I’m not sure it would fit with most other Divas.
Grade: Bland. It’s all cool as hell, but I can’t help but think she’s holding back on us a bit. I know there’s more to her than doing this type of shoot over and over and over…
• Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Madison Rayne‘s Back in the Groove
Appearance: Madison’s back in her Beautiful People style which, judging by her one non-TBP shoot, isn’t exactly a tragedy. This outfit’s still pretty fugly, but at least she has the excuse of the trashy style the team’s become known for. Here, she’s displaying the style in spades, wearing a bra, tiny skirt, and a shade of hot pink. This is far from the trashiest the Beautiful People have looked, but it’s still not all that great. Though, I guess you can’t expect them to suddenly class it up–it’s just not in their style.
Poses: She looks surprisingly sweet.. Are we sure she’s fit to be in The Beautiful People? Aside from her apparent lapse in attitude, the poses are decent. They’re sexy without being too hoochy. Wait, there’s another non-TBP-esque trait. Hm..
Uniqueness: She’s a ready-made Velvet Sky clone. Nothing unique here..
Grade: Bland. Let’s face it: The Beautiful People aren’t ever going to win any style awards. If you judge this shoot while keeping that in mind, it’s not all that bad.
• Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Read more to see the rest of this week’s photoshoots and vote for your favorite.

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Diva Dirt Style Jury: Week of September 21st, 2009

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ddstylejury

Welcome to the Diva Dirt Style Jury! No more are the separate ‘Best’ and ‘Worst’ lists, instead we have come up with a scientific approach *cough* to compiling our weekly fashion column. The Diva Dirt team will weigh in on the different looks from the week gone by & mark each look with a score out of ten. The look with the highest average score will be our best look and the look with the lowest average score will be the worst look. Click each photo to see the look in full size.

Let the proverbial runway show begin!

ALICIA FOX
Erin: Very sexy and sleek. With those super-high boots she looks badass without looking like she just auditioned for a biker gang. This is a “heel” look if I ever saw one.. 9/10
Melanie: I really like this look, it’s cute and simple. Only a girl with a figure like Alicia could pull off those boots too! 8/10
Steven: Something about the black-on-black look on Alicia does it for me. Looks casual without looking like she’s going club-hopping. 8/10
Tiffany: Alicia looked really good sitting at ringside, as most Divas attempt to. I like that she went simple with the look, which is refreshing. I’m just a bit perplexed by those boots – they go up impossibly high! 9/10

BETH PHOENIX
Erin: The cape is a nice dramatic touch, but she should have put another color in the suit to break up all the red. The gold phoenix is a cool accent, though. 7/10
Melanie: I love the design but honestly, I’m not a huge fan of the colour. It just seems so bright for a dark, broody Glamazon. 8/10
Steven: A little too bright and shiny for my taste, but it works on Beth. Don’t know why, but I like cape thingy she has going on. 7/10
Tiffany: Beth’s new outfit looks much better on paper than it did on broadcast. All that red… it was all a little too bright for me. I’d like to see some darker hues to balance off that red. 7/10

EVE TORRES
Erin: The bottom half looks good, if plain, but the top is kinda strange. It looks like she found a bunch of lime green ribbon and went to town on it. Not a good look unless she’s planning to audition for DX. 5/10
Melanie: The bottom half looks good but Eve’s vest tops are getting really old. 5/10
Steven: Nothing spectacular here. That top looks like something out of The Beautiful People’s closet, and that’s not a compliment. 6/10
Tiffany: Let’s look on the bright side. If teaming up with Cryme Tyme doesn’t work out… at least she’s a shoe-in for D-Generation X. 5/10

LILIAN GARCIA
Erin: If Lilian had a signature look, it’d be a “New Years Eve” theme–always sparkly and flashy and party-ish but still on the demure side. This is the epitome of that, because she literally looks like a disco ball. That’s not meant to be an insult–I really like it. It helps that the rest of the look is colored simply in black. 8/10
Melanie: Not a huge fan of the dress. I guess short dresses & high boots have been Lilian’s trademark for the past 10 years so it makes sense. 4/10
Steven: Lilian, you could have done better for your last night. Reminds me of a disco ball… Me likey the boots though. 5/10
Tiffany: To compliment our last memory of her, Lilian chose wisely. The flash and the flare and the shooting star-like presentation are all very reminiscent of her WWE career. 8/10

Read on for more of this week’s outfits and to see who’s been branded our winner and loser.

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SmackDown Redux Does WWE Superstars (September 24th, 2009)

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Following a bust-up between Maria and Melina on last week’s Smackdown, one would assume that the two wouldn ‘t be in the same corner from here on out. Not so fast, though, because this week on WWE Superstars, they’re doing just that, teaming up to face Michelle McCool and Layla. Let’s see how these ex-BFFs fare against the fast-forming friendship of Michelle and Layla:

As the match starts, Maria still doesn’t seem too pleased with Melina, shooting her a look as she heads out of the ring (What is she, 12?). Michelle starts out the match for her team, and she and Melina circle each other before meeting with a tie-up, Michelle taking advantage. She locks Melina in a belly-to-back hold before Melina breaks out, but is met with a knee to the stomach, Michelle then slamming the back of her head to the mat. After a braced knee to the face Michelle attempts a pin, but only gets 1.

A few knees and punches later, Michelle irish-whips Melina, and Melina uses her momentum to her advantage, spinning out of an attack and ending by planting Michelle’s face to the mat. It almost looked like a hurricanrana/face plant hybrid of sorts. (A hurrican-face plant?) A stunned Michelle sits up, only to be met with a low dropkick. She scurries to her corner, tagging in Layla.

Layla comes in like a bat out of hell but Melina bends back, avoiding a clothesline. Layla turns around and attempts a kick, but Melina blocks it with one of her own, continuing with this diversion a bit before planting Layla to the mat and tagging in Maria. Maria comes in quick, performing a flipping head plant on seated Layla. She then delivers a fist to her head in a split maneuver, going for the pin but barely getting 2. Layla reverses an irish whip, but Maria stops her momentum with the ropes, kicking her in the face. Maria goes to bounce off the ropes but Michelle makes a grab for her hair. Maria takes the bait, turning and taking a swipe at Michelle. Layla takes advantage of this distraction, booting her in the stomach as soon as she turns around, twisting her into a neckbreaker. A pin attempt, and a 2-count.

Layla tags in Michelle, stretching Maria out like a canvas so Michelle can kick her a few times in the midsection. Michelle continues to use her knee brace as an unofficial weapon, knocking it against Maria’s skull. She attempts a pin, but only gets 2. She mounts Maria, pounding her head against the mat, whic hthe referee takes offense to. (Oh, she can’t grab her hair, but she can use a hard knee brace to strike with? Okay, solid logic..) She keeps messing with Maria, kicking her around and practically stepping on her as she crawls around the ring in a daze. Maria heads to the safe haven of the ropes, but Michelle decides it isn’t a safe zone, choking her against the bottom rope with her knee. Choking Maria some more, she drags her closer to her corner, choking her against the second rope this time. After driving Maria into the corner, Michelle tags in Layla.

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Diva Dirt Style Jury: Week of September 14th, 2009

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ddstylejury

Welcome to the Diva Dirt Style Jury! No more are the separate ‘Best’ and ‘Worst’ lists, instead we have come up with a scientific approach *cough* to compiling our weekly fashion column. The Diva Dirt team will weigh in on the different looks from the week gone by & mark each look with a score out of ten. The look with the highest average score will be our best look and the look with the lowest average score will be the worst look. Click each photo to see the look in full size.

Let the proverbial runway show begin!

ALICIA FOX
Erin: My sister thought she was wrestling in jeans. I think that says a lot about this outfit–it just doesn’t look right, bottoms-wise. Slap a different color on them and we might have something here. Other than that it’s just kinda generic. 5/10
Melanie: I’m not a fan of the pants, they look like jeans. Not the best Alicia’s worn. 4/10
Steven: Ever since she moved to Raw, Alicia’s wardrobe has been less than exciting. This week is no exception. 4/10
Tiffany: The copper color compliments her hair and her skin tone quite nicely. Not sure how I feel about the denim-copy bottoms. 6/10

THE BELLA TWINS
Erin: Red red red.. Flowers flowers flowers.. It’s the same old same old and when you see it twice as much, you get sick of it even faster. 3/10
Melanie: I actually like the detail on the dress but once again, it’s far too much of one colour & it makes you feel sickly. 5/10
Steven: Once again, the Bellas assault us with red, but this it’s a hit. The simple, red dresses look awesome on them. However this is like the 18th time I’ve seen them wear it. 7/10
Tiffany: I’m not feeling the whole matchy-matchy thing. They’re twins. We get it. There’s no excuse for looking like they’ve just stepped out of a Conga line. 5/10

LILIAN GARCIA
Erin: I really like the burgundy color of the dress, but the numerous chains give off a Mr. T vibe. It’s a bit too much for me. 6/10
Melanie: Not a fan of this look, too much of one colour like the Bellas. The attempts at ‘edgy’ i.e. the cut out shoulders miss the mark for me too. 5/10
Steven: Looking great as always! Love the color on her and the heels are a nice touch. 8/10
Tiffany: Lilian hardly ever gets it wrong. I like the color, the drapery of the dress, and those shoes and jewelry compliment the outfit. It looks very well put together. 8/10

MADISON RAYNE
Erin: I nearly choked when I saw this outfit for the first time in a photoshoot a few weeks ago. This time, since I’ve had a warning, my reaction wasn’t nearly as violent. Unfortunately, the outfit’s still awful and should be burned.. 1/10
Melanie: Honestly, their overuse of colour sets off my gag reflex. They have nice legs though, so good to ditch the pants. 2/10
Steven: I guess there was a sale on black lace this week, huh? Either that or the lights blew out in the locker room… 2/10
Tiffany: This outfit looked bad enough in the photoshoot and even worse in live action. I haven’t seen this much overindulgence of lace since Lady Gaga at the VMA’s. 4/10

Read on for more of this week’s outfits and to see who’s been branded our winner and loser.

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SmackDown Redux (September 18th, 2009) – The Proof is in the Pudding

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Last time on SmackDown: Michelle and Layla attempt to frame Dolph Ziggler with a camera phone and a timely crutch mishap. Said crutch helps Layla defeat Melina in a match later that night.

This week: Will Maria discover Michelle’s “evidence”, and will Melina feel the brunt of her fury? What about Michelle–is she gonna get off scot-free?

It looks like the WWE is going the extra mile to ~mix it up~, because we have a match to start out our night! That’s right, no lead-in backstage segments! I know, it’s not much, but you gotta cherish the little things in life.. Melina is the first one out, and Michelle follows, noticeably limping on her bum leg. I gotta wonder why she’s wrestling if she’s struggling to even walk down the ramp..

It should be noted that this is a non-title match, so don’t get too excited.. As it begins, Michelle shies away from an actual lock-up, and Melina’s right after her, trying to pull her away from the ropes. They eventually do tie-up, and Michelle knees Melina in the stomach, pummeling her a bit before irish-whipping her. On the return, Melina reverses Michelle’s attack into a flip that lands her on her feet, nailing Michelle with a reverse kick.

Michelle escapes to the outside, and Melina tries to give chase, only to be stopped by the ref. Gotta wonder why the ref doesn’t start the count until Michelle’s outside for a few seconds, not that any Diva match has been resolved by count-out ever.. (Feel free to correct me on that, historians..) Michelle starts to limp around the ring and Melina gets tired of the delay, sliding out of the ring and giving chase. Michelle, of course, hops back into the ring, and when Melina tries to follow, she grabs her by the hair, forcibly dragging her in through the second rope.

She takes Melina to task, beating her down and bashing her head against the mat. Melina, woozy, tries to right herself with the ropes, but Michelle brings her to the middle of the ring, kneeing her in the face. Another kick, this one to the side of the head, drops her to the mat again. She brings her up, stretching her backwards into a Dragon Sleeper. Melina’s bent into the shape I used to meld my Barbies into when I bent all of their joints.. (No, I wasn’t a problem child..)

Melina fights to get free, punching and kicking Michelle. Before she can free herself, Michelle hammers her in the stomach, releasing the hold. She sends her to the corner and begins work, kneeing her repeatedly and choking her with her bad leg. (See, the knee brace is good for something!) As Melina lays prone on the mat, Michelle rubs her hands together like one does after a job well done, running the ropes and looking to baseball slide Melina out of the ring. Melina, however, plays Jerry to Michelle’s Tom, hoisting herself out of the way just in time, letting Michelle go flying out of the ring. Though, I’m not sure what kind of mouse has that type of leg strength..

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Full SmackDown vs Raw 2010 Divas Roster Announced

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The full roster for this year’s SmackDown vs Raw game was revealed moments ago in a live webcast featuring Eve Torres. Representing the Divas will be: Beth Phoenix Brie & Nikki Bella, Eve Torres, Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly, Maria, Maryse, Melina, Michelle McCool, Mickie James and Natalya. There are rumours that Trish Stratus may be … Read more

Unwrapped: Eye Candy for the Week Ending September 12th, 2009

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In order to consolidate our Eye Candy coverage, we’ve developed a new feature: Unwrapped! We’ll take all the new photoshoots from the week and grade (or “brand”) each based on the following criteria:

• Appearance (hair, clothes, makeup.. you get the drift)
• Poses (are they versatile or just glorified statues?)
• Uniqueness (have we seen this photoshoot a billion times before?)
Grading scale: Sweet (Great)/Bland (Iffy)/Sour (Awful)

Courtney Taylor‘s Golden Girl
Appearance: A slinky gold dress, covered in sequins, takes center stage in this shoot. The dress looks a lot better further away because up close, the sequins are a bit overkill. Tassel-like earrings, a few rings, and simple heels keep up the metallic theme without making her look like she stepped out of a Bond villian’s lair. Her makeup and hair are flawless and simple.
Poses: Courtney could teach Kelly a thing or two–you can be cute and smiley AND look like you’ve got a functioning brain at the same time. She mixes up her poses and keeps it easy breezy, but not catatonic like her fellow blonde.
Uniqueness: Nothing particularly unique about it, though I haven’t seen a Diva look this natural in photoshoots this quickly.
Grade: Sweet. She knows what works for her, both style-wise and pose-wise. Like I mentioned previously, she’s a natural. So far, she’s 2-for-2 in photoshoots. I like her odds.
• Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Eve Torres‘s Candy Girl
Appearance: Eve’s wearing a tiny white dress with red pinstripes (Look closely!), accented by a red belt and heels. She, like Brie last week, is content to let the candy color dominate, but she doesn’t douse herself in it like the Bella did. With the bright red lips, she looks delightfully retro, and the flipped hair makes her look like a pin-up. She looks like she jumped out of an old postcard, and I love it.
Poses: In keeping with the pin-up look, Eve does a lot of retro poses–lots of hands on hips and not-so-sexy faces. It’s simple, but works with the theme of this shoot. Anything too adventurous would’ve looked out of place.
Uniqueness: I love retro-styled shoots, and no other Diva has done it lately, other than Alicia from a few weeks back. It’s a break from the norm, and a good one at that.
Grade: Sweet. I could make “Eye Candy”/”Candy Girl”/”Sweet” puns all day long, but I’ll spare you..
• Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Jillian‘s America the Beautiful
Appearance: This looks like a costume best worn in the beginning of July, but I suppose this shoot was left over from that period and released in commencement of Patriot’s Day. She’s got the over-the-top look down pat–gaudy waistcoat, a matching top hat, and a bright red bowtie. The red lingerie probably isn’t something that Uncle Sam would wear, but she’s got the body for it! Obviously, this is a costume, so it’s not fair to judge it as we do other outfits. In this context it’s cute and fun, and not overtly slutty as I’ve seen it on other women at other times.
Poses: Not much variety here, just a lot of coat-clutching and smiling. I definitely notice her getting away from the “blow-up doll” look, and I’m so glad–she just needs to inject her photoshoots with the kinda of personality she puts in her over-the-top gimmick.
Uniqueness: It’s costume-y, which is unique in itself, but there’s not much else though put behind it. It’s got the intention to be unique, but doesn’t quite get out of the starting block.
Grade: Bland. I’d much rather see Jillian in regular outfits, showing the personality we know she has. Though, I guess at least one Diva has to don the holiday costume, and Jillian drew the short straw.
• Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Read more to see the rest of this week’s photoshoots and vote for your favorite.

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SmackDown Redux (September 4th, 2009) – Maria’s Got 99 Problems But We Care About None

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Last time on SmackDown: Melina and Layla went toe-to-toe with Michelle again standing at ringside, this time with crutches and a knee brace. Another rough shove by Melina leaves Michelle writhing in agony.

This week: Is there retribution in the cards for Michelle? Or will she let her “understudy” do the talking/walking? What about Maria–will she continue to play the damsel in distress?

Once again we start this week’s action with a backstage segment pilfered from the daytime soaps. And what else could it be about but Maria‘s woes? I personally can’t wait to see what epic twist the story takes this week! Fake pregnancy? Evil twin? Elaborately orchestrated death? Well, at the very least, I hope someone wears an eye patch..

We see Maria and Eve in the locker room, discussing tonight’s match. Maria tells Eve that all they need to do is go in there with a lot of confidence and passion, because when you don’t have talent, a whole mess o’ confidence will solve all your problems. (Though maybe having a scheme of selling broke-ass calendars with self-indulgent and hokey slogans for $25 wouldn’t hurt either..) Michelle takes the layup that Maria tosses her way, and shows up to remark, “..and you’ll still be losers.” Michelle tears down Maria’s makeup and passion for rhinestones, saying that no matter what she does, Dolph won’t keep his eyes off of other women, like her. (OMG, is that a hint of a twist? Probably not.) She says that Maria is nothing but his “flavor of the week”. (Damn, this has been the longest week of my life..) Maria counters, calling Michelle the most egotistical Diva on the roster.

Melina appears out of nowhere (Seriously, was there a door over there?), but Maria tells her that she’s got in under control. But one insult later, Melina gets in Michelle’s face, and Michelle threatens legal action if she even lays a finger on her. Obviously not interested in filing legal papers just yet, Michelle leaves before things can unravel. Melina apologizes on her behalf, but Maria tells her to stay out of her business. I couldn’t agree more with that sentiment–let’s all stay out of her business! No? Okay..

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SmackDown Redux (August 28th, 2009) – The Acting May Suck, But the Understudy Still Shines

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Last time on SmackDown: Michelle made her return, sitting at ringside as Melina & Maria defeated Layla & Natalya. No physicality form Michelle other than a shove onto the keister by Melina.

This week: Will Michelle step up into a more physical role, or is she still sidelined? Will the WWE even acknowledge her injury? Will Maria grace us with another mind-blowing in-ring performance? Let’s dive in and see!

This week’s Diva action starts off much like it has in the past few weeks (the “Michelle-less weeks”, as I like to call them). Even though Michelle’s back and we have an actual wrestling storyline to promote, Maria is still having problems with Dolph, the part-time wrestler, part-time C-Grade porn star. Melina mentions something about “going around in circles”, and I think that describes this storyline pretty well–it’s like a dog chasing its tail, always with some sliver of a harebrained goal, but never quite reaching it. But even the dog gives up eventually, so we’ll have to wait and see if this actually plays out.

Okay, enough with the mixed metaphors. Maria seems pretty frustrated with Melina, asking her why she can’t just be happy for her. Maybe because, with this Dolph thing, you’re fixing to drive into a brick wall? Maybe Melina should just say “Bon voyage!” and send you on your way. Melina explains that she saw Dolph with another woman after SummerSlam. (Are you sure he wasn’t just looking into a mirror? Dude’s pretty feminine-looking.) Maria pulls out the old “Mean Girls” argument, telling Melina that she’s probably just jealous of her. Melina tells her she’s sorry and splits, just as Dolph comes up. He tells Maria that the woman he was with was his sister. (OMG, maybe she looks exactly like him but with a longer blonde wig. I’d pay to see that.) Maria believes it, of course, and we’re set for another few weeks of captivating drama. UNTIL NEXT WEEK, on “The Young & the Shitty Wrestlers”.

Watch the segment below, then skip to 4:40 to see the subsequent match:

Now that we’ve got the backstage portion of the show out of the way, we have an actual match to get to (Please excuse the male match in between on the video–don’t they know that all male matches are glorified piss breaks? They’re not even real wrestlers!) Michelle has made her way to the ring and she’s on crutches! Shit. She takes the microphone and explains that due to Melina’s brutal attack last week, she’s got an injured knee. What a coincidence! She says she’s not medically cleared to wrestle and shouldn’t even be standing on it (Probably shouldn’t be wearing sky-high heels either.. Just sayin’.) She says that Melina ruined the night. Thanks a lot, Melina! God, what a bitch!

But seriously, Michelle’s mic work is definitely improving–she works the crowd, and plays the arrogant heel role pretty well. All she needs to work on is her lack of inflection due to her strong southern accent. She goes on to introduce Melina’s opponent for the night, whom she describes as a dear friend: Layla! As she makes her entrance, Todd describes her as Michelle’s “understudy” of sorts, and I have to admit that she’s not a terrible replacement–you could certainly do worse. Melina comes to the ring, and we can start the mach. They start with a tie-up, which Melina dominates into a pin attempt. No cigar, and Layla takes the advantage, tweaking Melina’s arm and kicking her in the gut for good measure, keeping a tight hold on the arm. Melina breaks free with a kick of her own, delivers an irish-whip that is reversed into the corner, and meets a charging Layla with two feet to the face. (Whoa, did the WWE pipe in that reaction? Damn.) Melina takes Layla down with a leap from the top rope, and sells her left ankle, which always seems to be giving her trouble.

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Maria: The Bad Boys Are Always Catching My Eye

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maria-bf

Is it just me or is Maria the most gullible WWE Diva in history? No, I’m not knocking her… I mean the way she’s scripted. Maria the character hasn’t had much luck in the man stakes, has she? Current beau, Dolph Ziggler is your typical bad boy, the one that all your friends warn you away from and you don’t listen. Oh Maria, if only you had learned from the countless teen soaps…

Let’s look at her man history: Thankfully, unlike countless Divas before her, Maria hasn’t been entangled with Vince McMahon… yet. However her first ‘love affair’, if you could call it that was with one John Cena. Not much happened there, it was kind of a ‘dine and dash’ situation; he kissed her one week and then acted like she didn’t exist the next. Let us reminisce on that ~magical kiss~

Perhaps it was the cold shoulder from the former WWE Champion that led her astray to her future boyfriends…

Let’s surmise; former boyfriend Santino, somewhere between dating and Maria and Beth Phoenix, decided to become a cross dresser. Current boyfriend, Ziggler, was a male cheerleader. Boy, does she know how to pick ’em or what?

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Unwrapped: Divas “City of Angels” Shoot

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We’re bringing you a special edition of Unwrapped, covering the recent multi-Diva shoot, titled “City of Angels”. I won’t be judging them too closely, as there’s only about 2 photos per Diva, so I’ll just focus on their looks. Click here to see the full photoshoot.

Alicia Fox
Grade: Sweet. I know some people don’t like rompers, but I happen to love them if they’re done right. And in this case, Alicia does do it right. The colors and stripes are cute, and her hair looks great. Maybe in less flattering poses the loose-fitting romper would look more like a potato sack, but from what I can see, I dig it.

Brie & Nikki Bella
Grade: Bland. I’m not one to bound these two together as a package deal, but they’re wearing the same thing, so there ya go. I think it’s pretty cheesy to wear the EXACT.SAME.THING., but I guess that’s the WWE’s doing. In keeping with that, I guess they go for a more boring look, figuring that if you see it twice, it’ll look more interesting. Nope, not this time. They don’t look bad, but I’m not really a fan of the “Price is Right” mentality in dressing.

Gail Kim
Grade: Sweet. It’s tough to go wrong with a little black dress, and Gail wears it well, spicing it up with a wide belt and some cute pigtails. It’s pretty simple, but there’s nothing wrong with that.

Follow the cut to see the rest of the Divas in the photoshoot.

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Divas Reprimanded for Too Much Cleavage

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In a sign that WWE is really PG, a thing that would have been encouraged a few years ago is now taboo in WWE. SmackDown Diva, Maria, reveals to the LA Times: The wrestling attire for the ladies has become more conservative as well. Maria Kanellis, one of the WWE’s “diva” wrestlers, used to perform … Read more

Bonus SummerSlam Kick Off Pictures

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Peep even more pictures from Friday night’s SummerSlam Kick Off event in LA, featuring more closeup looks of Melina, Mickie James and Tiffany as well as some of the other girls. So I have decided that Mickie looks gorgeous, I’m actually taken aback that she is probably the best looking Diva of the night. Meanwhile, … Read more

Divas Hit Red Carpet for SummerSlam Kick Off Party

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Our favourites Divas from all three brands were present on the red carpet last night in LA for the SummerSlam Kick Off Party. The Divas and WWE Superstars rubbed shoulders with D-List celebs like Mini-Me and that girl who never gets to sing from the Pussycat Dolls. For the most part it seems the Divas … Read more

The Week in Fashion: Best & Worst Dressed for August 22nd, 2009

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bestworstdressed

It’s a staple of tabloid magazines: hard hitting, investigative & highly entertaining! Best & Worst Dressed lists can make or break careers in Hollywood and for a site with ‘Dirt’ in the title, it’s only fitting we take this time tested feature & apply it to our Divas! Each week we’ll bring you the best and worst looks from the week gone by, it’s pretty simple right?

best

best_22aug09
Key: School-like grading scheme

Some okay looks this week and one standout look. Let’s examine:

The one and only Alicia Fox looked really pretty in a simple black dress. Sometimes it’s best not to overdo it. Nice stuff. C

Before getting a trash can put over her, Jillian looked rather splendid in a nice teal dress with some sequins. Nothing wrong with a bit of jazz kept in moderation. C

Moving away from the Beautiful People proved to be a blessing for Madison Rayne, going for a simpler and less trashier look on Impact. I like. C

Also on Impact, keeping things simple & casual — two words that seem to go amiss with most Knockouts/Divas is Lauren. B-

My favourite look of the week however is Michelle McCool’s ultra sleek comeback to SmackDown. Not many girls can pull off the slitted top and white pants [just ask Nikki Bella who wears the exact same outfit here] but Michelle’s slender figure and height advantage complements the outfit really well. Who knew Ms McCool was so en vogue? The top in particular is a big trend right now, most notably worn by British singer Amelle in a recent music video. A

This week’s ‘Worst’ after the cut:

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SmackDown Redux (August 21st, 2009) – Guess Who’s Back..

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This week, we were promised the return of one Michelle McCool, Women’s Champion and recent victim of a knee injury. The details of her return were kept mum, so in what capacity will we see Michelle, if at all? Let’s watch and see if she turns up:

On the cards is a tag team match, teaming up Melina and her tag team partner (who we can only assume beat Eve in a coin flip) Maria. Going up against them will be Layla, Melina opponent last week, and Natalya, a Diva whom the WWE seemingly can’t decide if they want to wrestle or manage. This week, luckily, she’s on in-ring duty.

But who oh who makes the first entrance? Michelle! She makes her way (Gingerly? I couldn’t tell.) to the announcers’ table and takes a seat next to JR and Todd Grisham. We’ll see if they acknowledge her absence or just ignore the giant blonde hobbling elephant in the room. Melina and Maria then make a tandem entrance, and I wonder if Michelle visits Diva Dirt, because her first words on the duo express my sentiments exactly (“What is Maria wearing?!”). Gotta dig deeper than the obvious with these insults, Michelle.

A few more fashion-based insults pegged at Maria (Seriously, someone check Michelle’s browser history.), and Michelle shows a bit more charisma. Now, she’s not Trish Stratus or anything, but I sense some improvement. She just needs to work of her inflection and not sound dead-bored when speaking on the mic. As Layla and Natalya make their entrance, Michelle expresses some fondness towards who Todd describes as her “message girl”. Michelle refutes that claim, insisting that these past few weeks were just a vacation for her. Okay, so I guess the injury may not be as serious as once thought? You know, since they’re skirting around the issue and all..

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Unwrapped: Eye Candy for the Week Ending August 15th, 2009

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In order to consolidate our Eye Candy coverage, we’ve developed a brand new feature: Unwrapped! We’ll take all the new photoshoots from the week and grade (or “brand”) each based on the following criteria:

• Appearance (hair, clothes, makeup.. you get the drift)
• Poses (are they versatile or just glorified statues?)
• Uniqueness (have we seen this photoshoot a billion times before?)
Grading scale: Sweet (Great)/Bland (Iffy)/Sour (Awful)

Brie Bella‘s Flower Power
Appearance: Apparently, Brie’s celebrating the 40th anniversary of Woodstock, as she’s wearing a t-shirt of the poster for the famous musical festival. And, I guess to supplement that, she hippy-fied the rest of her look. Well, the shallow version of “hippy”, anyways. She’s wearing moccasin-like shoes, a tie-dye headband, and a shredded denim skirt. It’s a lot of things competing for attention, and it looks a little too costume-y. It’s like she took one person’s idea of what the 60’s were and threw it together for one outfit. I’m surprised she wasn’t wearing peace sign earrings or something. The pink is a pretty color, though–it’s the first thing that I noticed about this shoot, and as much of a mish-mash this look is, the pink makes it a little more pleasing to the eye.
Poses: It’s all peace signs and sweet smiles from Brie, all while lounging on an equipment trunk. It’s pretty dull, and can’t say I really understand the significance of the trunk–if anything, it exposes a stark contrast between the “buck-the-system” mentality of Woodstock and the “corporate stiff” status of the WWE. It just shows the shallowness behind the concept of the shoot. Not very well thought out..
Uniqueness: A silly, contrived WWE photoshoot? Come on, we see those things all the time.
Grade: Sour. It’s just another WWE mish-mash of a photoshoot–concept and execution don’t really meet. I know it’s ridiculous to even fathom a politically-charged photoshoot, but something like this is just silly and shallow. It’s akin to Miley Cyrus throwing around the peace sign just because it looks cute.
• Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Follow the cut to see the rest of this week’s photoshoots.

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SmackDown Redux (August 14th, 2009) – Shoot the Messenger

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You might have noticed that I decided to forgo a Redux last week, as there was no match on the show, and analyzing a mere backstage segment with no real bearing on the women’s division would be akin to giving G.I. Joe a thorough character analysis–there just ain’t no point. However, this week’s SmackDown started off quite inauspiciously with what else but another MARIA-CENTERED BACKSTAGE SEGMENT!!!! *cue Psycho theme* Jump to the 1:00 mark to watch:

I feel silly for really “reviewing” this, but I figure it might lead to something eventually, so I’ll just go for it. Maria‘s gushing about Dolph, and Melina smiles, playing the supportive friend. It feels so strange to see her even care, since I’m so conditioned to her nasty heel attitude. At this point, I’d kill for her bitch side to take over–it’d keep segments like these to a minimum.

And just as I pray for daylight, Layla comes in to save the day. She plays the catty heel pretty well (“YAYYYYY FOR LOVE!”) and, like Melina did last week, warns Maria against Dolph, for for much different reasons. Apparently, the glorified Oompah Loompah twin is a hot commodity backstage, and Maria may not be hot enough to hold him. And shifting to more important matters, Layla delivers a message to Melina: Michelle will be back next week. It’s kind of funny, though, because it’s a minuscule version of what I suggested they do with Melina/Michelle/Layla earlier this week. Melina seems unenthused at the news, but I’m doing backflips. Melina tells Layla that she has a message for Layla to send back to Michelle, and she’ll give it to her in the ring. OH, IT’S ON NOW!

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Unwrapped: Eye Candy for the Week Ending August 8th, 2009

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In order to consolidate our Eye Candy coverage, we’ve developed a brand new feature: Unwrapped! We’ll take all the new photoshoots from the week and grade (or “brand”) each based on the following criteria:

• Appearance (hair, clothes, makeup.. you get the drift)
• Poses (are they versatile or just glorified statues?)
• Uniqueness (have we seen this photoshoot a billion times before?)
Grading scale: Sweet (Great)/Bland (Iffy)/Sour (Awful)

Alissa Flash‘s Untitled
Appearance: She’s wearing tow different color variations of her ring gear, with eye paint to match. I gotta say that I love the warrior paint, as it definitely gives her an edge. It’d look silly on other girls, but Alissa’s enough of a badass to pull it off. That, and you don’t see anything but eye shadow or mascara on most female wrestlers’ eyes–it sets her apart, and in a good way. The outfit itself is pretty much your stard ring gear: shorts and a belly-baring top. The leather collar and cuffs spice it up a bit, and add to her hardened look. Leather and grommets on a lot of Divas look silly and forced, but I don’t get that from Alissa. Maybe it’s because she isn’t trout-pouting me to death. She looks like a true badass.
Poses: For the meager amount of photos she had, Alissa mixed it up pretty well. The fists and finger point gratefully stay out of the much-treaded “porn poses” territory and keeps with her character. Her evil half-grin is enough to send chills down your spine, no?
Uniqueness: It’s certainly nothing you’d see out of a Diva, huh? From the face paint to the serious poses, it’s almost everything the Divas are not. She’s not sexing it up for the sake of a photoshoot, and for that I’m grateful. It’s always a shame to see a Diva depart from her character to show some epic cleavage or do a cheesy pose. Alissa isn’t blending in with this one, that’s for sure.
Grade: Sweet. It’s a tiny, tiny photoshoot, but I really like it. Everything’s in keeping with her character, and she’s experimenting with her look enough to make it interesting, but it’s not like we’re not staring at gigantic feathered hairpieces or something equally as awful.
• Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Follow the cut to see the rest of this week’s photoshoots.

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The Week in Fashion: Best & Worst Dressed for August 8th

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bestworstdressed

It’s a staple of tabloid magazines: hard hitting, investigative & highly entertaining! Best & Worst Dressed lists can make or break careers in Hollywood and for a site with ‘Dirt’ in the title, it’s only fitting we take this time tested feature & apply it to our Divas! Each week we’ll bring you the best and worst looks from the week gone by, it’s pretty simple right?

best

best_8aug09
Key: School-like grading scheme

This week saw some cute outfits from the Divas who didn’t wrestle, including a trio from Raw and one from SmackDown.

Kicking off with Kelly Kelly, complete with Jeremy ‘Mercury Poisoning’ Piven’s arm over her lap. Yes, it looks like a poser-y Juicy Couture dress but what else to expect from young K2? It still looks pretty good on her. C

Raw’s Rosa Mendes knows black is her colour and looked hot from the tiny side glimpse we saw of her. Those legs! C

Adding some colour t0 the room was Alicia Fox, in a flowery strapless dress. It’s probably the weakest of the three looks but it was decent by Diva standards. C-

Former Women’s Champion, Melina sure does love the off-the-shoulder look, huh? Nonetheless, I liked her ethnic patterned red top, it reminds me of my mom’s native Morocco. C

This week’s ‘Worst’ after the cut:

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The Inaugural Diva Dirt Best & Worst Dressed List

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bestworstdressed

It’s a staple of tabloid magazines: hard hitting, investigative & highly entertaining! Best & Worst Dressed lists can make or break careers in Hollywood and for a site with ‘Dirt’ in the title, it’s only fitting we take this time tested feature & apply it to our Divas! Each week we’ll bring you the best and worst looks from the week gone by, it’s pretty simple right?

best

best_25july09
Key: School-like grading scheme

Congratulations to Maryse, Lauren, Jenna Morasca (sort of), Alissa Flash, Melina & Michelle McCool for making our inaugural ‘Best’ list. It’s not just about the clothes you wear, it’s about the way you accessorize it and the way you do your hair too. These Divas and Knockouts displayed sexy, smart and well-rounded outfits this week.

Beginning with Maryse, a Diva who brings the sex appeal to any outfit she sports. Our Divas Champion opted for a slinky black dress this week, with an off-the-shoulder look. Finishing off with an aptly fitting belt and the most gorgeous pair of gladiator sandals ever. This girl knows how to accesorize and never over-does it. Grade: A

Meanwhile, TNA’s in-house correspondent Lauren looked sassy yet classy in a shoulderless black top and jeans. A simple look, but it’s in her accessorizing and hair that Lauren really pulls it altogether. The oversized long necklace adds a little more jazz to the simple looking top, while her hair looks effortlessly tied up. B+

Third on our Best list is Jenna Morasca, shockingly enough. Following her trashy look at Victory Road [more on that later], Jenna pulled it together for Impact this past Thursday with a cutesy look. I like the fun, vibrant loose-fitting top over the leggings. But the big plus is her hair, super sleek and straight with bangs on show. C

Both of our new TNA Knockouts make it onto this week’s list, but thankfully for Alissa Flash she makes it onto the good half. Ditching the uncomplimentary yellow from last week, Alissa looked more comfortable in her peachy/orange attire this week combined with a nice ring jacket. But it’s the hair & makeup I’m loving the most, the streaks of colour around her eyes is a nice look that I’d like to see her continue in coming weeks, using a colour that matches her attire that week. And her bouffant-esque hairstyle looks neat and tidy, which is something this blogger is a big fan of. B

Speaking of hair — our next two entrants are being honoured solely for theirs! Melina and Michelle McCool looked really pretty, Melina with her long straight, luscious locks. She always looks like something out of a shampoo commercial. Meanwhile, Michelle’s hair looks even better up than it does down. She should do it more often! Honourary mention.

This week’s ‘Worst’ after the cut:

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Diva B-Sides: Tara and a Bonus B-Side

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divabsides

We can all agree that, with a few exceptions, Divas get the short end of the stick when comes to entrance themes. While the male superstars get music from actual bands and artists or custom made songs with lyrics, Divas get stuck with crappy production music. If I had the chance I would change all the Divas music to something a little… well, better. Hence, Diva B-Sides was born; a Diva Dirt exclusive where we match WWE Divas and TNA Knockouts with new entrance themes. This week I’m getting a little help from the one and only, Melanie. I also have a bonus B-Side for everyone’s favorite *cough* Diva. So let’s kick things off with today’s B-Side for TNA Knockout, Vict… er, I mean Tara.

 

wm7-victoria STEVEN’S PICK: “MOVING TO SEATTLE”  BY THE MATERIAL

Let me start of by saying, even though TNA’s stock music is the bane of my existence (see Jenna Morasca’s music), they’ve done a pretty good job with Tara’s music. It fits way better than her WWE music ever did.

That said, if I had to pick a new song for Tara, this would be the perfect choice. Like her current theme, ‘Broken’, “Moving To Seattle” starts of slow and dives head first into a guitar intro. It has that rock and roll feel that I always thought suited her more than her hip-hop-esque WWE entrance theme. It even has female vocals, which seem to be present in all of her entrance theme since her debut. 

[audio:02 Moving to Seattle.mp3]

MELANIE’S PICK: “UNTOUCHED” BY THE VERONICAS

 The chords in the intro of this song are reminiscent of “All The Things She Said”, Tara’s first ever theme. Because of the softer verses, this song would probably need a good edit before it’s entrance theme worthy. Maybe have the intro go right into the chorus?

[audio:Untouched.mp3]

Bonus B-Side after the cut

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Ask the Divas: Episode 2

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# Saturday, Saturday # That can only mean one thing it’s time for the continuation of our favourite new webseries *cough* ‘Ask the Divas’. This week, The Bella Twins, Maria, Lilian Garcia and Tiffany dispense advice: Diva Dirt was shown a short preview clip of next week’s episode, featuring only Maria! Now we can’t repost … Read more

Divas Get Their Own WWE.com Show

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Following in the footsteps of Santino, Cryme Tyme and Miz & Morrison, the Divas have finally been given their own WWE.com exclusive show “Ask the Divas”, which is similar to the columns they’ve previously had in WWE Magazine. In the first webisode, Eve, Maria, the Bella Twins and Kelly offer their advice to the fans: … Read more

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