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Impact Write-Up (May 19th, 2011): Keep Rollin’, Rollin’, Rollin’…

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First and foremost, I am very sorry this is late. I’ve had a rough couple of days between a good friend’s father passing away and then “Macho Man” Randy Savage, in a very odd and twisted way, both the exact same way. I have just been an emotional ball of mess. Between worrying about my friend and her family and losing such a huge chunk of what made me fall in love with this business. But, I love you guys so I am going to give it my best shot. Bear with me and hopefully this won’t be as lackluster as I feel.

We start this week out in the ring, with the TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions, Sarita and Rosita. They’re taunting Christy Hemme and she is just playing along like nobody’s business. Out next is their tag team partner, Madison Rayne and this looks to be a six Knockout tag team match. Oh boy. SHE’S A KILLER QUEEN! Madison comes out, atrocious fence of a crown on top of her head and looks aggravated, as usual. She stops to wave to her kingdom before making her way down to the ring, grinning to bare it. HARDCORE COUNTRY! Their opponents Tara, Miss Tessmacher and the TNA Knockouts Champion, Mickie James pop out next. Literally if you’re Tessmacher. Mickie flashes that gold strap up to the crowd and Tara just looks like a bouncer from the club down the street. This should be a rather fun loving match-up.

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TNA Sacrifice in Review: The King and Queen(s) Take a Royal Beating

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It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for! Okay, so maybe a couple of moments. We’ve seen weeks upon months of back and forth between all competitors in tonight’s matches. Whether it’s the self-proclaimed “Queen” of the Knockouts division or the Queen of the Mountain, I have a feeling that tonight, someone is going to get overthrown. So much is on the line tonight. The Knockouts Championship and the contract of a scorned henchwoman, to the physical stature of Little Mama and Big Daddy. The return of a female phenomenon to the ring after ten years has the Impact Zone on fire tonight. I have a feeling there are definitely going to be fireworks. I hope you brought the marshmallows for roasting because there’s going to be heat.

Our real and true action for TNA Sacrifice starts out in the form of Jeff Jarrett and his Queen of the Hillside, Karen Jarrett. They slowlly make their way onto the stage, hand on the ribcage, crutches in hand and a boot on the foot. Say what?! Karen is dressed like she’s on her way to the prom, heel and all. Jeff hands her the crutches and they make their way to the ring, slow enough for another population to have enough time to develop on a foreign planet. When they finally reach the apron, Jeff helps her up and through all the pain and anguish, she limps to the middle of the ring. Jeff takes to the microphone, stating that unfortunately, and being an adorable, caring wife and mother. Please, give him all of your attention because he has a very important announcement to make! Listen people! Listen!

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Audio: TNA Sacrifice 2011 Post-Show

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With TNA’s Sacrifice pay per view in the books, Melanie, Chenda and Steven discuss the show including Chyna’s big return, the Madison vs Mickie match and Tara winning her freedom. Plus we discuss what could be next for Chyna, Tara, Mickie and Madison in TNA.

To listen to the show directly on the website, just click on the play button below. You can also download the show in MP3 format straight to your computer by right clicking here and selecting ‘Save Target As’.

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TNA Sacrifice 2011 Results: Tara’s Choice

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Going into tonight’s Sacrifice pay per view, Tara had a choice — her allegiance with Madison Rayne or her freedom courtesy of Mickie James. She went for the latter. Helping Mickie win her Knockouts Championship match at the pay per view, Tara clocked Rayne with a punch with the self-professed Queen’s own loaded glove. The … Read more

TNA Sacrifice Predictions: Chyna’s In-Ring Return, Mickie vs Madison

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The Diva Dirt team weigh in on tonight’s Sacrifice pay per view:

Chyna & Kurt Angle vs Karen & Jeff Jarrett

Cryssi: I don’t expect Karen Jarrett to actually get in the ring. So we’ll either see Chyna/Kurt Angle versus Jeff Jarrett in a handicap match, or the more likely scenario of Kurt Angle versus Jeff Jarrett part whatever it is. So this will be a no-contest for the ladies. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. =)

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Impact Write-Up (May 12th, 2011): Mama Jarrett Goes Downtown to Chynatown

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Oh boy. Last week, we got a serious basketful of everyone and their mama on Impact. Between Winter and Angelina Love beating up on Velvet Sky, who was assumed and accused of being Kurt Angle’s mistress and the Cinco de Mayo celebration with Mexican America. I was so worn out last week. This week, we find out the truth, however. The Queen of the Mountain has been throwing her blame finger at everyone under the sun and finally narrowed it down, but boy is she in for a major surprise. Daddy Jarrett doesn’t know what’s coming his way either! All is to be revealed on this week’s episode so if you’re ready for it, dive right in. The water’s nice and electrifying!

So our show starts off with a rather meek and “humbled” appearance by the Royal Family of the Hillside, Karen Jarrett and her tagalong husband, Jeff. Again. They make their way to the ring and with lackluster attitudes, I must admit. Karen looks annoyed and Jeff just looks like he’s trying to knock an ongoing migraine. The crowd isn’t helping and their jeers just flood through the Impact Zone like a raging river. Stopping to hug his wife on the steps before he gets in the ring, Jeff steps in and takes a microphone, stating that they’ve decided to once and for all, call a truce. That’s right. He knows he’s mocked Kurt Angle in the past but tonight, Big Daddy is very sincere. How comforting.

Jeff tells Kurt to take a look at Karen, so sweet, so innocent and so fragile. I’m sure. He says that Karen wouldn’t hurt a fly and for her to be put in harm’s way, in the middle of the ring at Sacrifice, is terribly wrong. Just oh so terrible. Yet, we’re all dying to see it. He says he has done his best to keep her out of all of his matches yet, Karen keeps getting in the way. Womp womp. By the way, it’s MIStress, Jeff. Not MITtress. Just to let you know.

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Impact Write-Up (May 5th, 2011): Cinco de My Oh My!

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Oh my my my! Last week, we got a reel of conspiracies with character zombies and measurement hungry tailor maids! This week, we’ve got an action packed episode of Impact that is bound to leave you hanging on the edge of your seat with laughter and intrigue. A healthy matchup with a main event to scream over. Not to mention, more information regarding the “mistress” who is set to turn The Queen of the Mountain’s world upside down. Not to mention, it’s Cinco de Mayo! Orale! Are you ready for it? I’m sorry. I can’t hear you. Are you ready for it?! I hope so. Vamos!


skip to the 09:19 minute mark.

So we start this week out backstage, with Karen Jarrett and her tagalong husband, Jeff. They’re banging on the supposed locker room door of Velvet Sky like a couple of landlords looking for their rent money. Sure enough, the door swings open and whoa…Velvet appears in nothing but a pair of towels. However, she has a face full of makeup. Yeah. I totally shower with my face completely done up too. It’s a favorite pasttime of mine. Karen tells Velvet that she’s solved the mystery and she knows Velvet is the one that Kurt hired to take a hit out on her. Nope! NOPE! But oh yes, Karen says and tells her that Big Daddy, aka Tagalong Jeffro, isn’t going to let that happen. So she needs to go blow dry her weave, put her skanky little outfit on and meet them in the ring. Why? Because thanks to Hogan and Bischoff, they have an offer for her that she cannot refuse.

Does this phase our adorable Vel Vel? Well, of course not. Even when Tagalong Papa tells her she’s stepped in it, she doesn’t skip a beat. “I may have stepped in it but at least I didn’t get it dumped all over me!” And that pisses Karen off and she tries to go after Velvet but all she does is wave her off and step back into her locker room while Tagalong pushes his wife away. Oh I so cannot wait for this. /sarcasm

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Unwrapped (April 30th, 2011): Eve, Kaitlyn, Maryse, Mickie & Winter

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Every week, following WWE.com and TNAWrestling.com’s photoshoot updates, we’ll take a look at the newest Diva and Knockout shoots and give you the opportunity to voice your opinions on them in a feature we lovingly call Unwrapped. Let’s unwrap this week’s eye candy, featuring Eve Torres, Kaitlyn, Maryse, Mickie James and Winter:


Eve Torres
Rarely does lying around make for a satisfying photoshoot, but Eve achieves that here. She sits on a blood red booth, surrounded by what looks like hockey memorabilia. It’s a bit of an unorthodox surrounding, and part of me think there’s something lacking from the shoot, but that just may be the disconnect in Eve wearing a fancy outfit to hang out with sports memorabilia. Speaking of her outfit, it and her hair work together for a beautifully sleek look and the criss-crosses on her skirt are hypnotizing, but not overwhelming, thanks to the limited color scheme. Her poses are varied, but simple–she mostly smiles and relaxes in the booth. It’s a bit of an odd shoot, altogether. Still, somehow, she pulls it off, looking quite casually beautiful.
Rating: • • • • •
• View the photoshoot.


Kaitlyn
The main point of interest in this shoot, for me, is Kaitlyn’s hair. It’s dyed in completely opposite tones and, though I’ve definitely seen this technique done badly, I like it on her. It gives her an edge that the blonde hair just wouldn’t do, and it certainly makes her stand out amongst the other WWE blondes. That’s something she can use, given that she’s yet to develop a character as a Diva. Not that she can build a character as “the girl with the duo-toned hair”, but it helps in this instance. Her dress, with the details on the shoulders, adds interest as well, but I think it’s a wee bit short, a few of the poses making me double-check to make sure she’s fully covered. Those poses, by and large, are not all that interesting, but I like that for at least one she pulled out something different, posing on her hands and knees, showing off her sculpted arms and curvy figure in a way that’s more intriguing for what it doesn’t show rather than what it does.
Rating: • • • • •
• View the photoshoot.

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Impact Write-Up (April 28th, 2011): Zombies, Tailor Maids and Conspiracies! Oh My!

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Good lard! Has it been a week already?! I have no idea where my time has gone but we’re back with another edition of the Impact Write-Up brought to you by your good friends at The Colon Cleanse! They’ll clean your crap while you take a nap! Last week, we saw a major shit storm hover right over the King and Queen of the Mountain, with promise of a new intruder to their kingdom. We also saw another break in the bond between a former chumpion and her minion. Not to mention that rabid beatdown in the locker room. This week, we have a match between two feuding BFFs, one of which is missing all her screws. We are also sucked into the dreaded conspiracy of the one who hunts Lady J. Who could it be? We may find out sooner than you think! So ride along little ones!

FINALLY! A show that starts out with the TNA Knockouts, pretty much all of which are in the ring when the show hits the air. It seems we’re in the middle of Karen Jarrett, lining them up and going down the line, one by one. She starts out with someone who appears to be the TNA seamstress, given the measuring tape over her shoulder and her statement of getting his measurements. Karen, being the ever so witty one, tells her to take her dancing fingers and dance them out of the ring. After that line, I’m pretty sure Karen should just be revoked from ever speaking on the microphone. Ever.

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TNA Lockdown in Review: A Minute to Win It

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Hello, my lovelies! It is TNA’s time of the month again..har har. It has finally come down to Lockdown! For months, we have seen these two women battle back and forth, one being tormented for everything she stands for while the other uses her power as champion to run rampant. It is finally, and you will hear me say that a lot, FINALLY, time to settle the score between these two. Since the day she debuted, Mickie James has had her eye on Knockouts gold. In a Hair vs Title Match, locked in a steel cage, we are finally going to find out if Mickie has what it takes to become a triple crown champion. If you didn’t watch, I urge you to check it out now because you don’t want to miss it. No, seriously, don’t blink because you just might. Onward!

We first see our Knockouts backstage, where Christy Hemme states that she is personally rooting for Mickie James to win this bout against Madison Rayne. Speak of the devil, she walks up behind Christy and taps her on the shoulder, calling her Big Red. Tara is with her, not looking at all happy with her current position. Madison, wielding scissors, has an atrocious crown on her head and she tells Christy that her rooting isn’t going to help Mickie win the match. Christy counters with a question, asking Madison how it feels to know that tonight could be the last night she wears that belt. “What internet site did you read that on?” I’m gonna go with Diva Dirt, because we are all rooting for Mickie tonight. Ahem.

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Mickie James Wins Knockouts Championship

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Tonight at TNA’s Lockdown pay-per-view, Mickie James defeated Madison Rayne with a Mickie-DT to become the new Knockouts Champion in less than a minute. This marks the first time Mickie has held a TNA championship and makes her the first woman to hold the Women’s, Divas and Knockouts championships. Congratulations to Mickie!

PPV Predictions: TNA Lockdown 2011

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The Diva Dirt team weigh in on tonight’s Lockdown pay per view:

April: To say that this feud between Mickie and Madison has gone on for a lifetime seems like an understatement. It finally came down to Madison running Mickie over for her to finally get some serious kick behind her anger, pushing things into overdrive. For this bout, I’m going to have to choose Mickie James for the win. I think it is time for her to finally get one over on Madison Rayne and take home the gold. Madison is a tremendous heel and has held that title for long enough. It needs a fresh resting place, like I’ve been saying for weeks on end. I think this time, Mickie has finally had it and I can see her really giving her all when it comes to this cage match. I am always a fan of women wrestlers taking on matches they wouldn’t normally be considered to compete in so Lockdown can definitely change things up. It’s Mickie’s time to be Knockouts Champion..let’s just hope she gets to keep her hair along with it.

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Impact Write-Up (April 14th, 2011): Come Over to the Dark Side, Angelina (We Have Free Drinks)

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Oh oh Oh oh Oh! Oh oh Oh oh! Oh oh Oh oh Oh! The Right Stuff! Wait…this is totally the wrong website for that. I’m sorry. Where was I? Oh yes. It is time for yet another Diva Dirt edition of the TNA iMPACT Write-Up, brought to you by yours truly! Last week, we saw a zombie finally turn on her BFF. Brainssssss! We also saw a motorcycle accident leaving a fallen contender with a more than a few scrapes and bruises. This week, the theme is retribution and you had better believe someone’s going to get it! So if you’re all for the heroic story or even a healthy beatdown or two then step into my office. We need to have a little chat.

Our first glimpse of the TNA Knockouts comes to us from backstage where Velvet Sky is banging on what appears to be the locker room of Angelina Love, giving the fact that Velvet is screaming her name like a banshee. A second later, Winter opens the door and steps out, telling Velvet to keep it down. Velvet screams that she isn’t talking to her and Winter tells her that Angelina is resting and in case Velvet hasn’t noticed, Angelina wants nothing to do with her former BFF. Vel Vel, obviously stressed, demands to know what Winter has done with her TBP partner but Winter takes it as an insult. Angelina is a big girl and can make her own decisions, having decided she wants nothing more to do with Velvet. Winter tells her to just live with it.

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Mickie James Speaks on Status of Separated Shoulder, Says She’s Having a Blast in TNA

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Number one contender for the Knockouts Championship, Mickie James spoke to Busted Open this week about her match with Madison Rayne this Sunday, the status of her separated shoulder and much more. We have a few highlights:

Speaking on the match this Sunday and her shoulder injury, Mickie says:

“I’m really excited about it. I’m going in there with a separated shoulder and hopefully be able to tough through the match.

I’m feeling better every day honestly and trying to get more range of motion back and I definitely hope physically to be 100%. I don’t think my shoulder will be 100% but luckily it’s my left shoulder and I’m a righty, so that kind of helps.”

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Impact Write-Up (April 7th, 2011): Oh Snap! Madison Plows Through the Competiton…

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Last week, during iMPACT!, we saw a singles match between two rival Knockouts, battling for the affection of a drugged out and clearly twitterpated, blonde Canadian. It saw a sad defeat and a declaration of rescue, made by a scorned best friend, set for vengeance. This week, our beloved Beautiful People are set to challenge for the TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championships, in hopes of possibly rekindling the fire of their friendship. Will we see a positive reunion between the two blonde BFFs or has the sinister wicked witch finally ripped them apart for good? There is only one way to find out. Saddle up, boys and girls.


skip to the 6:30 minute mark.

Our first major glimpse of Knockouts action comes in the form of a backstage segment that shows Angelina Love, with her back to the camera. Winter is at her side, clearly stressed out and attempting to persuade Angelina, once again, that Velvet Sky does not care about her. She states that Velvet doesn’t have Angelina’s best interest at heart like she does. She tells Angelina that she loves her and will always be there for her. With a twirl of the chair, that damn mystery red cup rears its ugly head and Winter tells her new playtoy to drink her drink, it will calm her nerves. I’m pretty sure the only one needing calming of ther nerves here is Winter. Give that woman some prozac or something. Perhaps even a straight jacket will do the trick.

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News & Notes from WrestleReunion Today featuring Lita, Mickie, Daffney & More

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Mr Glamazon’s friend Jamie attended WrestleReunion in Atlanta earlier today and sent in the following news and notes:

* Lita and Mickie James were drawing the largest amount of interest for the females.

* “I waited about 30 minutes for Lita,” says Jamie. She was late because she went to the wrong Marriott.

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Results from Remix Pro Wrestling featuring Mickie James, Sara Del Rey & Madison Rayne

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Diva Dirt reader Michael B. attended last night’s Remix Pro Wrestling show in Marietta, OH, which featured Madison Rayne vs Sara Del Rey. The show was supposed to feature a dream match between Del Rey and Mickie James, but due to her separated shoulder at a TNA house show a few weeks ago, James was unable to compete.

Results below:

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WrestleMania Rewind: Mickie James vs Trish Stratus

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It’s been five years since Trish Stratus last competed at WrestleMania. This weekend she makes her return, but today we take a look back at her last appearance.

It was the feud that captivated fans and is highly regarded as one of the best Diva storylines of all time. For months, Mickie James tried to woo Trish — before deciding she’d rather take her down instead. It all culminated at WrestleMania 22 in 2006…

Part two:

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Impact Write-Up (March 24th, 2011): Take a Step Into The Twilight Zone…

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Oh here we go! It is that time of the week yet again and I am back with another rendition of the Impact Write-Up! Yes, it is yours truly and I can definitely say that after last week, I’m hoping TNA went for a little redemption factor this week. Last week, we saw a three minute “streetfight” between four of TNA’s Knockouts and their respective male partners. We also saw a flash in the pan(har har) return from former Knockout Alissa Flash in a very unsuccessful try against the TNA Knockouts Champion. This week, we’ve got a match between two women who just can’t seem to get enough of beating the hell out of each other. And..we are also going to explore another chapter in the new developing saga of the troop of Mexican Americans looking to stake their claim on the company. Buckle up, strap in, do whatever it takes to secure yourself to your location. You’re in for a ride.

HARDCORE COUNTRY! Our first glimpse of Knockout action comes in the form of Mickie James, bounding to the ring in those classic daisy dukes and a teal fringe top with gorgeous red hair. She is set to take on Tara, who we see backstage, straddling her crotch rocket. Out of nowhere, Madison Rayne storms up and demands that Tara destroy Mickie, or else! Tara questions it but Madison is quick to let her know that this isn’t a classroom, she doesn’t need to ask questions. She just needs to go do her job. Job? Yes. Go do your job, Tara. Do all of Madison’s dirty work so she can squash Mickie at Lockdown. Winning. Duh. BROKEN! BROKEN! And out she rides, complete with the giant bow on her backside and no sooner than she can climb the apron, the veteran is flipped over to her backside. Good thing she brought that extra cushion, huh?

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