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Krissy Vaine’s Vainety Fair: Randomness with the ADHD Kicking

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vainetyfair

Gosh, where do I start? Everyone prepare themselves for a random column this week! First of all, hey y’all! How you doing? I hope everyone is doing great this holiday season! I sure am! Whew, I have been slammed recently with my business and it has left me little to no time at the computer! I’m not complaining though — I feel totally blessed. We are in a recession, you know! So much has been happening, I don’t even know where to start.

Well here’s some good news — I have started working out again (first time in a gym in two years) lol. Gosh, that is totally embarassing and a true athlete would never admit to that, right? Oh well, I’m honest, like me or not! It feels good though. I enjoyed being ‘skinny fat’ for the last two years but honestly, I had taken a long enough break! Speaking of ‘breaks’ I’ve also had a pretty long one from wrestling… I think now that I’m training to become to become a 5-star athlete (wink,wink, hee hee hee) again maybe I’ll give wrestling another go. I had a ‘semi-comeback’ last year but that wasn’t really working out the way I wanted. You know by the time you get to a certain age, you just really like to march to the beat of your own drum. Actually I’ve always been like that lol! So I’ve taken some time and regrouped. Oh I’ll give you a lil spoiler, you won’t be seeing Krissy Vaine at TNA for the tag tournament next week. That synchronicity thing I’ve talked about before is so funny! Timing is everything and unfortunately I was already obligated to something else by the time this idea came to fruition. This go round, because I have looked less than professional in the past (and that is not my nature) I have to do things the right way. It’s really important for me to do so. So whomever I’m with, I’ll be giving that company 100%  — no more one show appearances for me. Its not fair to anyone involved. I do have some very exciting and interesting things going on in the New Year.

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Mickie James Speaks on Weight Jibes

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Four-time Women’s Champion, Mickie James has bitten back at weight jibes made about her saying that ‘the example being set [to young girls] is pathetic’. The comment was made as Mickie responded to a concerned fan who wrote to her on Twitter. The fan writes: I’m really offended right now with the WWE making jokes … Read more

Christy Hemme Retires as In-Ring Performer

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As revealed last week, Christy Hemme has been moved into a broadcasting role due to her neck injury at the beginning of the year. Hemme has now announced her retirement from active competition. The Knockout says that she is healthy and her neck is fine, however she is considering her long-term health. Speaking on her … Read more

The Diva Trade Report Card

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It’s been two months since the Diva Trade hit us like a bus and changed the landscape of Raw, SmackDown and well, ECW not so much. Since that time, the seven Divas traded have had time to find their feet on their new brands — new feuds, new storylines, new love interests. For some it’s worked out and for others, it hasn’t. Two months removed, we’re going to catch up with our Divas and find out how the Diva Trade has affected them in the ‘Diva Trade Report Card’.

draft_bellasThe Bella Twins
The Bellas’ move to Raw has been wholly unthreatening, thankfully. Hardly ever seen in wrestling attire, the Bellas have served as eye candy to the Guest Host of the week. Not exactly something to write home about!
Verdict: Acceptable. An insignificant trade that doesn’t harm or hurt anyone.

draft_bellasBeth Phoenix
I kicked up something of a fuss when Beth was moved from Raw in October — but I’m happy to say, I’ve been proved wrong. The move to SmackDown has rejuvenated the Glamazon. The brief ‘Glamazon Squash Tour’ provided a monster heel-like reintroduction for Beth that many would expect for a Superstar, it’s rare to see such effort go into a Diva. In my initial look at the trade, I questioned whether WWE would pull the trigger on Beth vs Natalya or McCool but I wouldn’t be surprised to see a tweener-ish Beth challenge Michelle McCool for the Women’s Championship in the near future.
Verdict: Good. SmackDown should bring out a new dynamic to the Beth Phoenix character in the New Year.

More after the cut:

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Plan for New Year’s Knockout Eve

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As first broken by Diva Dirt, TNA will be taping a Knockouts tag team tournament next Monday (December 21st) from the Impact Zone. The plan is to have it air as a ‘one night only’ special on New Year’s Eve. Wrestling Observer’s Dave Meltzer reports that the four-hour show [7-11pm] on New Year’s Eve will … Read more

FCW Watch: Courtney Taylor vs. AJ Lee; Aksana Debuts

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The latest bits of FCW to hit YouTube have surfaced, originating from the November 28th show. First, we have a match featuring the former WWE Diva (for all of 3 weeks) Courtney Taylor and AJ Lee. “Queen of FCW” Mia Mancini is at ringside to survey the match:

I have to say, starting a match with a rest hold doesn’t exactly allow one to hold much promise for an exciting match. Overall, it looks as though both girls were stuck in slow-mo–even the arm drags were slow. Courtney’s definitely giving me a Kelly Kelly vibe, especially with the ginger ring movements and flashy moves (what exactly was that handstand move in the corner, by the way?). AJ and Courtney just didn’t seem to have much chemistry, with mis-timed exchanges scattered throughout the match. They never got out of the starting gate and seemed preoccupied with slowing the match down to avoid any mishaps. The only excitement I got out of the whole match was AJ’s finisher, and even that was set up awkwardly.

So the match wasn’t much at all, but why did it fall so short? AJ looks to have a lot of potential, but Courtney seems to be a little uncomfortable in the ring so far, and that severely limited the match as a whole. Hopefully she can improve her ring presence and buck the inevitable Kelly Kelly comparisons (like the one I made above.. oops).

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WWE Catches Up with Three Time Women’s Champion, Ivory

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Yesterday, we had a post about Jazz resurfacing and now today, another former Women’s Champion has resurfaced in Ivory! WWE.com caught up with the three time Women’s Champ for their ‘Where Are They Now?’ feature. In the first part of a two parter, Ivory talks about her origins in the industry working for Gorgeous Ladies … Read more

Savannah Debuts as ECW Ring Announcer

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The brand we usually overlook had a surprise dose of Diva goodness last night, as Savannah debuted as the new ring announcer for the brand. It looks like the move will be a permanent switch after Lauren Mayhew parted ways with the company last month. Savannah had previously worked as a backstage interviewer for all … Read more

SmackDown Spoilers: December 18th, 2009

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Spoilers for this week’s SmackDown tapings are in. Click the ‘+’ to read. Show airs on Friday, December 18th:

SmackDown - December 18th, 2009
– Segment with Mickie James, Maria and Beth Phoenix. Maria vs. Beth is made for tonight.

– Michelle McCool, Layla and Beth Phoenix cut a promo.

– Beth Phoenix defeats Maria. (Source: WrestleNewz.com)

Thoughts after the cut:

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Look Who’s Resurfaced!

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It’s only one of my favourite ex-Divas and two time Women’s Champion, Jazz! After giving birth to twins, Jazz returned to the ring this past weekend at Women Superstars Uncensored and was interviewed backstage by fellow women’s wrestling site, Lethal Wow. Check it out below: I am beyond excited to see Jazz back in the … Read more

Making Sense of Last Night’s Slammy Shocker

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slammysense

Last night’s WWE Slammy Awards were the nail in the coffin for what has been a year of disappointment. From the Miss WrestleMania battle royal to the ‘Mayweather Melee‘ to the Diva Bowl and not forgetting the ‘Indians vs Pilgrims‘ match leading into Maryse’s lackluster return. Given the track record WWE has had with it’s Divas this year, in hindsight, we were far too optimistic for the Slammys to be the exception to the rule. From the nominations fiasco to the award being handed out on Raw, it’s been a marred process.

Clearly, it hasn’t been a good year for the Divas and last night summed up precisely what was so wrong about it. But try to make sense of the situation:

Maria’s win
Before we even begin, I’m not going to sit here and blast Maria for winning Diva of the Year, her win wasn’t under her control and it’s unfair to judge her personally for being chosen to win. It’s her moment and good for her. I can’t say I think she deserves the award but I’m not going to hold it against her.

Who deserves the blame
Let’s direct this annoyance at the people that it should be directed at — WWE. As the opening paragraph suggests, this whole year has been letdown after letdown at the hands of WWE. A year that could make even the most unrelenting Diva fan question why they continue to watch. Whether the vote was truly the results of a fan vote or if it was booked in Maria’s favour we’ll never know, but I’m sure there are theories to suggest both.

As pointed out in the Post-Raw Show and in the Raw Redux, Maria is set to be part of a big ensemble cast for the Celebrity Apprentice on NBC next year. Perhaps Maria’s Slammy win was their way of pushing her in that series. If you hear Donald Trump putting her over on the show as WWE’s Diva of the Year, then you’ll know. Especially since the show has already filmed. I mean, you gotta compensate Maria on that show somehow right? The show often boasts about the celebrities’ accolades in creating a competitive atmosphere. “Maria, WWE Diva” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it as “Cyndi Lauper, multi-platinum selling artist” does it? “Maria, WWE Diva of the Year” is a little more grandiose.

One of the things everyone, fans and critics alike, have pointed out is if this was truly fan voted, wouldn’t Mickie James win? Mickie is usually the winner of all of these fan polls and is unarguably, the most popular Diva in the WWE right now. That’s not to downplay Maria’s popularity — because she is up there. She and Kelly have a great rapport with the fans and are usually second or third in past fan-voted contests. But given Mickie’s current disposition with the company, would they really award her the Diva of the Year prize? Probably not. You’re pretty much calling the girl ‘fat and ugly’ every single week with all the ‘Piggie James’ BS that we’ve seen, you’re not going to give her an award. The conspiracy theorist in me suggests that Mickie probably topped the poll but they went for the second highest polling Diva.

It’s clear that WWE has positioned the Divas division to be so much of an afterthought that the average fan won’t care what they do with the girls. And as such, they can get away with murder. I mean in reality, we’re but a fraction of the total audience, right?

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Raw Redux (December 14th, 2009) – What’s Wrong With This Picture?

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Last night’s Raw, in all its bloated 3 hour glory, was the annual Slammy Awards edition. Among the awards to be handed out were Diva of the Year, which was to be voted on by the fans at WWE.com. As we waited on pins and needles (not) to find out who won the award, we pondered whether the award would be given to support a storyline via rigging by the WWE or a popularity contest held by the voting public. As is turns out, it was neither, and I’ll explain my theory as we come to it.

We start our Divas action (not counting the Divas presenting awards throughout the night) with a Jerry Springer-esque evening gown tag team match. The babyfaces–Mickie James, Melina, Brie & Nikki Bella, Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, and Maria are taking on the heels–Michelle McCool, Layla, Maryse, Beth Phoenix, Natalya, Alicia Fox, and Rosa Mendes. Most look out of place and trashy in their gowns, and I would critique them (I’ll save that for this week’s Style Jury), but I’m much more distracted by the fact that they’re WRESTLING IN EVENING GOWNS. Well, this’ll be one mesmerizing clusterfuck:


Skip to 2:52

They start with a line-up face-off, trading verbal barbs before heading off their their respective corners. Mickie and Rosa start off the match, Rosa takign advantage and tossing Mickie around, pounding her head on the mat. They trade slaps, and Rosa tosses Mickie into the corner. Mickie blocks her attack, locking her head with her legs and hitting a hurricanrana. She then pulls her to her feet, hitting her Mickie-T to get the pin an the win for her team.

I have to say, this is one of the few moments where I’m glad that a Diva match was cut short. I’m glad that no more than two Divas had to humiliate themselves by wrestling in their dresses. Mickie and Rosa did as awkwardly as I expected, but hey, someone had to take the bullet. Now that the match is over, it’s time for the Diva of the Year Slammy to be awarded. The girls line up in anticipation as MVP and Goldust present the award.

Our winner is announced as, drumroll please…. Maria??? MVP’s reaction right before he reads her name says it all, and Maria looks as shocked as the rest of us as she goes up to accept her award, saying a typical acceptance speech before being interrupted by Batista in a douche costume, doing a Kanye West impression that’s not only awful but over 3 months old. If the joke were a carton of milk, it would have expired into a living organism at this point and, ironically, would be more worthy of a Diva of the Year award than Maria. Maria plays Taylor Swift as she left the stage and allowed Dave to be “escorted” off by security.

But as we watch the wild pink-polo-wearing douchebag be captured in his natural habitat, we’re left to ponder the reasoning behind this decision to crown Maria as Diva of the Year. Was is it truly a popularity contest, and she was just the most popular Diva among the fans? Or was it rigged for storyline purposes? As I said earlier, I believe it was neither, because I have a theory. Yes, Maria is popular, and I do not doubt that fans flocked to vote for her in the poll, but I don’t believe her star power amongst the casual fans is that much stronger than, say, a Mickie James or a Kelly Kelly.

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Maryse Makes Odd Trish Stratus Comparison

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Former Divas Champion, Maryse made an odd comparison between herself and Trish Stratus on Sunday night, as she chatted with fans in WWE.com’s TLC live chat. Maryse called herself an iTouch while saying Trish was ‘an old cassette player’. Err… [Comment From Christian Jackson Christian Jackson: ] Maryse you’re of the sexiest woman in the … Read more

TLC in Review: Michelle & Mickie Bow Out 2009 with a Hit

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tlcreview

It’s usually this time of year that fans begin to tune out in the build up to Christmas. The December pay per views aren’t really remembered as well as the months prior. However just before the year goes out, the SmackDown Divas have delivered a sleeper hit. Women’s Champion, Michelle McCool successfully defended her belt against Mickie James last night but unlike a myriad of past Divas pay per view matches, this bout seems to be only an opener to a brewing feud. Last night’s match seemed to come as close to ‘feature length’ as WWE will allow the Divas to be and also featured an unusually lively crowd eating up the action. Watch below:

The match kicks off with a cat and mouse chase as Michelle jumps out of the ring immediately, staving away from the four-time Women’s Champion. Upon entering once again, the two Divas lock up in a powerful tussle that sees them roll out of the ring. And already, we’re out of the ring! Still locked up, Mickie thrusts Michelle into the barricade and Michelle retaliates, shoving Mickie into the side of the ring. Nice touch there, showing the intensity between the two Divas. Mickie gets in Michelle’s face in a heated verbal exchange and the expression on Michelle’s face says it all, both Divas did a great job of selling that heat. They carefully get back in the ring, eyes still locked on each other. Mickie screams at Michelle: “I know how to play games, Michelle.” And don’t we know it! Perhaps a slight nod to her first WWE feud.

With the Divas now back on their feet, the champion and challenger go for each other’s hair before being separated by the referee. Mickie quickly goes for a jack knife pin but Michelle kicks out. Mickie manages to knock Michelle off her feet a further two times and goes for a further two pin attempts. Michelle now takes charge, clubbing Mickie and throwing her against the ropes, Mickie manages to lock in a Gail Kim-like christo of sorts while Matt Striker on commentary says, “How can she support that weight.” Wow, Vince and co are going hard for Mickie. It seems such words come all too easily out of Striker’s mouth, I do hope Striker [the person] feels somwhat hesitant when saying them.

Michelle backs Mickie into the corner, slamming her into the turnbuckles and Mickie lays motionless for a good few seconds. Michelle takes control with knee drops followed by knees to the back as the pace of the match begins to slow down. Michelle wipes the mat with Mickie’s face before slamming it back down on the canvas rather viciously. Michelle applies a chin lock as Mickie tries to fight back but Michelle just knocks her back down. Michelle effortlessly throws a few kicks Mickie’s way, suggesting she’s not sweating her opponent.

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Diva Dirt Roundtable: Best Bits of 2009

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The Diva Dirt Roundtable returns for a special — Best Bits of 2009! The Diva Dirt team have gotten together to discuss the year gone by, picking our favourite moments and memories. We also pick the Diva who we think will have the biggest year in 2010. Plus on top of that, we discuss last … Read more

Woman of the Decade: The Final 4

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Another week of rigorous voting has come to an end! After taking the second vote count, we have cut the 4 lowest polling women from the running to become Woman of the Decade. The women still in the competition and vying for your votes are: Lita, Melina, Mickie James and Trish Stratus. The next vote … Read more

Unwrapped: Eye Candy for the Week(s) Ending December 12th, 2009

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We’ve modified our Unwrapped feature a bit. On top of our grading, we’ll give you the chance to give your own grade to each photoshoot, “branding” each like so:

Sweet (Great) • Bland (Iffy) • Sour (Awful)

NOTE: I missed last week’s post due to a busy schedule, so I’ve combined the photoshoots from the past two weeks into one mega post. Enjoy!

Alicia Fox‘s Heavy Metal
Grade: Sweet. The aesthetic of the steel against the all-black ensemble create a rock-n-roll vibe, and Alicia supports that with her serious and sexy poses. She poses against the door in interesting ways, using her arms and legs to tell the story rather than relying on her face or physique to capture the attention. Her outfit–black leather-like tights, black tube top, black knee-high boots, a black headband, and an eye-catching belt–is simple but extremely sexy. The fact that they’re all in black don’t detract from the look, but rather enhance it. Her figure is on full show, but it doesn’t look at all trashy.
• Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.
[poll id=”469″]

Beth Phoenix‘s Poured In
Grade: Bland. The centerpiece of this shoot is the hot pink corset top, which, in my opinion, is its undoing. The jeans and boots are quite nice, but the corset looks like it’s literally sucking the life out of her–her bra looks ready to explode. She looks uncomfortable, judging by her facial expressions in a few photos and how gingerly she sits and stands. They might say “no pain, no gain”, but in this instance the pain didn’t help Beth gain a damn thing. Breathe Beth, breathe!!
• Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.
[poll id=”470″]

Read more to see the rest of this week’s photoshoots.

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Slammy Nominations Revealed

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The nominees for the 2009 Slammy Awards have finally been revealed! In a twist, there are no Diva of the Year nominees. Instead, fans will get to vote for the winner in a poll on WWE.com tomorrow. That’s right, instead of taking the time to narrow it down to a whole four nominees, who perhaps … Read more

The Tiffany Guide to Impact: This is a Joke, Right?

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Often imitated but never duplicated, it’s the Tiffany Guide to Impact.  This week, TNA’s creative team takes a nap.  Meanwhile, this week’s episode of TNA Impact is laced with a boost of testosterone that could only be matched by that of Tiger Woods.  First off, we’ll go right ahead and expunge the pink elephant in the room: The Beautiful People (Velvet Sky vs. Lacey Von Erich ft. Madison Rayne) in a mud wrestling match.

I’m on the fence about this “match” purely because any way I go about it, someone’s going to have some reason to complain. Whatever. For what it’s worth, this was a five minute erm… exhibition that went against the grain of most Knockout matches.  Was it raunchy?  Sure.  Is it degrading?  Eh perhaps, for some.  The way I see it: it was a goofy segment that’s better suited to just disappear into the depths of pro-wrestling history.  With the decent overhaul of Knockout action we we’ve been blessed with recently, this one silly Beautiful People segment gets a pass (and a well-received “yawn”).  As long as it doesn’t become a usual occurrence, all should be forgotten soon enough.  It’s not often that Velvet Sky wins a match single-handedly, so it’s best to just enjoy it while it lasts.

Next up, Hamada challenges the TNA Global Champion, Eric Young.

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Diva Dirt Style Jury: Week of December 7th, 2009

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ddstylejury

Welcome to the Diva Dirt Style Jury! No more are the separate ‘Best’ and ‘Worst’ lists, instead we have come up with a scientific approach *cough* to compiling our weekly fashion column. The Diva Dirt team will weigh in on the different looks from the week gone by & mark each look with a score out of ten. The look with the highest average score will be our best look and the look with the lowest average score will be the worst look. Click each photo to see the look in full size.

Let the proverbial runway show begin!

JILLIAN
Erin: Jillian’s ring outfits are usually pretty dull, but this one is a bit interesting with that color and pattern. It’s still not much, though. 6/10
Melanie: I actually really like this. It’s cute without being boring as with her past outfits. 6/10
Steven: I like the color on her, but would love to see her do something more with her wardrobe. The black pants/colored top combo is getting kinda old. 6/10

KELLY KELLY
Erin: Too “Flashdance” for my taste. I don’t know.. The naked shoulder just looks a little try-hard. It’s not awful, though. 6/10
Melanie: Don’t like it. The top just isn’t flattering on her and I’d prefer pants. 3/10
Steven: Like we said on the Post-Raw Show, Kelly’s outfit this week was… strange. Looks like she grabbed the nearest black bedsheet and fashioned it into an outfit. 4/10

Read on for more of this week’s outfits and to see who’s been branded our winner and loser.

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