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SmackDown Redux (July 24, 2009) – Eve Has Hart, Michelle’s A-List Makeover

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We’re kickin’ it old school this week! For one week only, Melanie’s back, kids! Erin is off on her holidays this week but will return to the SmackDown Redux next week. Let’s hope I haven’t lost my touch…

This week’s SmackDown saw the final push into Night of Champions this Sunday, as Melina vs Michelle McCool was the final match announced for the card. For storyline purposes we have Melina ‘invoking’ her rematch clause for the Women’s Championship. Check out their segment below:

‘Monotone McCool’ is back this week — that’s what happens when you get rid of an amazing could-be mouthpiece. Yes, the scripting was kind of standard but I enjoyed the jibes: calling the make-up artist ‘historic’, forgetting Trish’s name. It could have come across well, but Monotone McCool strikes again. There’s no inflection in Michelle’s speech, there’s no emphasis on the words, I wouldn’t be surprised if Michelle flunked Drama in high school. It probably makes matters worse that I watched this segment after watching a promo by the Beautiful People on last night’s Impact. I watched this and in my head, I pictured how Velvet Sky would say it and how she’d hit the mark and have the right tone. Promos aren’t Michelle’s strongest suit granted, but the execution came off extremely flat & the truth is, this was one of the better scripted promos she’s received from the writers.

Melina on the other hand has always had great promo skills and we saw that here, I would say that Melina is the closest to Trish Stratus who was a master of the delivering humorous promos and interviews [click here for an example]. Melina’s promo called for humour, “Congratulate you… on being the biggest phony in WWE history,” and she pulled it off well. As a heel, Melina’s promos were awesome but as a face, it needs to be toned down so it doesn’t come off as bitchy and I think she found the right balance here. Melina’s the complete opposite of Michelle, she had the perfect inflection in her voice: “You know what that means.” My only advice to her would be to dial it up a little more on the humour a la Trish, using her hands and her face to match to kind of sell that comedy.

So on Raw we had the hairspray and on SmackDown we have the foundation, anyone sensing a pattern? The little punch line “I also tone hair,” was cute. Michelle walking away didn’t really work for me, isn’t she supposed to be aggressive and no-nonsense? Wouldn’t she turn right around and left-hook Melina? It was okay but I thought it was unrealistic for Michelle to walk away.

Anyway that sets up their match for Night of Champions, a match that hasn’t really been pushed until now which sucks. There was a lot they could have explored between The Bash and this PPV. But Melina has been set up as a strong contender and a ‘thorn in Michelle’s side’.

Thoughts on Eve vs Natalya after the cut:

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SmackDown Redux (July 17th, 2009) – 2nd-String Players Take the Reins

After the fire returned to the Michelle/Melina feud last week, one would think that the WWE would want to capitalize on this and keep the momentum rolling. But of course, this is the WWE we’re talking about, so it only makes sense for them to leave those two off next show COMPLETELY. I’m not going to get into why this was a dumb move (you all can do that in the comments), so let’s just move past this logic fail and take a look at who did make it onto the show.

Layla, wearing a Miami Heat jersey (she was a dancer for them the year they won the NBA Championship, in case you didn’t hear JR say that every.single.time. she’s wrestled). JR says she’s part of the reason Shaquille O’Neal watches Smackdown. (Actually, I saw him in person at a RAW in Miami back in 2005, so maybe he’s a bigger fan of the red brand.) Layla takes the mic, saluting Miami. She displays some decent mic skills, though nothing to write home about. Though, when you’re going for a cheap pop in your home town, how much skill do you really need? She puts down the mic and cues a seizure-inducing music and lights combo and then starts to dance.

Her dancing is of the “basketball half-time dancer” variety, which makes sense with her background. Still, it’s a little strange with one woman doing it – it’s one of those things that look better synchronized with several other girls. Alone, she looks a little bit like she’s having a fit. This goes on a little bit longer than necessary before Carlito’s music hits (scratch that.. it’s Ricky Ortiz). Ricky mocks Layla dancing a bit and goes on a spiel about motivation and inspiration before going for the cheap heat, dissing the Heat. He attempts to “RALLY UP!” the crowd, while Layla looks unamused. He gives her a towel to spin around, and she plays ball a bit, but then drops it, giving him a disgusted look and exiting stage left. I’m not familiar with Ricky Ortiz’s schtick, but I assume dropping his towel is like dropping a cheerleader’s Spirit Stick? No? Okay, I won’t try to rationalize it.

Layla showed a bit more personality than she usually gets to in the various tag team matches she’s inserted into, but I always find it a bit lame when heels become temporary faces in their home towns, just in the name of getting some cheap pops or putting over a heel. Do it like Chris Jericho does – diss your home town! It makes you an even better heel, I promise!

Meanwhile, on the other side of town,

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Breaking: 5 Divas Moved in McMahon’s “Mini Draft”

Tonight on Raw, Vince McMahon announced his plan to move 15 Superstars and Divas to various brands in a move to “shake up” the rosters (even though we had a draft 2 months ago, but shhhh..). The moves have been announced on WWE.com, and here are the Divas making a move: To Raw: – Gail … Read more

The Bash: Through the Years

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Tonight, WWE holds the 6th incarnation of it’s ‘Bash’ pay per view, a former staple of the WCW PPV calendar. Up until this year, the event had gone by the name of ‘The Great American Bash’, but in an effort to make the show more globally-friendly, it has been shortened to ‘The Bash’.

Tonight at The Bash, the Women’s Championship will be defended for only the second time at the event when Melina defends against Michelle McCool. Neither Diva is a stranger to this particular event, Melina was involved in the very first Women’s Title defence in 2007. Meanwhile, McCool’s career landmark came last year, when she became the first ever Divas Champion at this PPV.

Let us take a look through the years at the various Bash events, ahead of tonight’s big pay per view! Remember to join us for our Bash live blog from 7.45pm ET/12.45am UK!

2004
Sable vs Torrie Wilson

The first Bash pay per view was held in 2004, when WWE ressurected the event for it’s SmackDown brand. With the advertising campaign based around the brand’s top Diva, Torrie Wilson, it only made sense to put her on the card. Sable and Torrie had started out as bitter rivals in 2003 before making up to appear on the cover of Playboy together in March 2004. They even notched up a huge victory together at WrestleMania XX for the SmackDown brand. But just a few months later, they were back at each other’s throats (both on screen and in real life!) which led to this match at the Bash:

It may not have been the most technical affair, but Sable could teach our current crop of Divas a thing or two about in-ring psychology. Her heel mannerisms are resemblant of current Diva, Maryse’s. Though Sable stole a win here, Torrie would get her revenge the very next week on SmackDown.

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Bred From a Bigger Dynasty Than the Lakers

Natalya in “Dynasty Diva” We’re debuting a new format for our Eye Candy posts – complete with more detailed critiques and “graded” categories. View the photoshoot we’ve “hung” on our wall, read our critique, vote, and last but not least – sound off in the comments! The Look: You don’t get much more simple than … Read more

FCW Recap: May 24, 2009 – A Sign of Things To Come?

This past weekend, FCW held another one of its weekly event for our Divas. After not having any Divas action on the FCW card last week, we were definitely treated to a great match this time around. The reigning Queen of FCW, Angela Fong, put her crown on the line against the third generation Diva, Natalya. … Read more

Diva vs General Manger Angle in the Works?

This week’s edition of ECW saw Evan Bourne defeating Natalya‘s boytoy Tyson Kidd. However, off air, the WWE Mobile Exclusive brought about a confrontation between the third generation Diva and the interim General Manager of ECW, Tiffany. After his loss to Evan Bourne on this week’s ECW on Sci Fi, Tyson Kidd and his Extreme associate, … Read more

Tonight Matthew, I’m Going To Be Trish Stratus…

You probably won’t get the title unless you live in the UK and ever watched ITV’s Stars in Their Eyes, but anyhoo it looks like some of our current Superstars and Divas are hoping to mould their careers on the successful legacies carved by some of WWE’s biggest legends. Among them three Divas: Michelle McCool, … Read more

More News And Notes From The ECW/Superstars/SmackDown Tapings

As you all know by now, I had seats for last night’s tapings at Madison Square Garden. Unforunately I couldn’t give all the details I wanted, due to the fact that I was trying to actually watch the  show. So highlight for a few more details on the shows: Superstars: The crowd was predictably dead … Read more

The Weekly Roundup (April 19 – 25, 2009) – A Week in Television

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Welcome to Diva Dirt’s new feature – The Weekly Roundup, a look at the week in television! From Raw, SmackDown, ECW and TNA too, we look back at the week’s highs and lows as well as giving you the opportunity to catch up on what you’ve missed!

APRIL 19TH – APRIL 25TH, 2009

This week has been huge for the Divas and Knockouts, possibly the most action packed week of wrestling so far in 2009! Over the past week, we have seen all three of the major women’s titles on the line; the Women’s Championship, the Divas Championship and the Knockout Championship were all defended.

Best Bet: My standout of the week was the Women’s Championship match from Raw, as Melina successfully defended the title against rival, Beth Phoenix before moving over to SmackDown.

Close Call: Angelina Love‘s Knockout Championship victory at Lockdown was definitely a highlight of the week, as she finally captured the belt, but I personally preferred the Raw match.

Low Point: This week’s low comes from ECW’s booking of their new Diva, Natalya, as she jobs not once but twice to Hornswoggle in the same week. Pitiful.

Check out all of this week’s videos after the cut:

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You Know What, Trish? You Got A Good Point.

As we reported here on  Diva Dirt earlier this week, Trish Stratus recently gave her opinion on WWE’s current women’s Division and she didn’t pull any punches. Some might think that she was slamming WWE and the present roster, but I happen to believe otherwise. Trish brought up some valid points that I agree with. … Read more

First We Take Manhattan, Then We Take Berlin

Taking black and white photos is usually a tell-tale sign of trying hard to look “artsy”, so it’d be obvious to say that Natalya‘s new photoshoot “Light in the Dark” is a bit like watching an 80’s-era Leonard Cohen music video (minus the seagulls, of course). The wind-blown look and high contrast make Natalya look … Read more

Raw Redux (April 6, 2009) – Divas Get Their WrestleMania Moment

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It wasn’t at WrestleMania per se, but for the 10 Divas involved in the last night’s Raw vs SmackDown tag team match – they got their WrestleMania moment a day late. The Divas of Raw united to take on the united Divas of SmackDown, under the guidance of the Women’s Champion, Melina and the Divas Champion, Maryse. The result was a well executed, well timed match that helped ease the sour taste left by the ‘Miss WrestleMania’ battle royal the night before.

Speaking of which, the Raw ‘debut’ of Santina was also a nice change of pace from the match we saw earlier in the night. WWE showed last night, that the Divas can wrestle and do comedy, without one hindering the other. Following the huge storm that came after WrestleMania, I think that WWE made good, turning the Santina-Miss WrestleMania crap into fun, comedy fluff. I’m not gonna lie, I laughed my butt off . This sort of stuff is okay in moderation, as long as it’s used in addition to a real Divas match rather than instead of.

Back to the Raw vs SmackDown match, following WrestleMania, I really felt from the Divas that they went out there with a chip on their shoulder and with something to prove. Rather than wasting ringtime on Maria, Eve, Kelly or Layla – we got straight down to business with talented, competent wrestlers. I got to see a little taster of three of my dream matches for the current division: Melina vs Gail Kim starting out this match. What I love about both of these Divas is that they have such innovative, fast paced, flexible styles and I think if you throw them out there for 10 minutes, they’d make you stand up and applaud. I will say, that they took a little while to get going, the chemistry wasn’t there straightaway but as the match progressed we got some good action from both of these women. I like that they played up the rivalry between Gail and Maryse too, by having Gail tell Maryse off for attacking Melina on the outside of the ring.

Then we get another dream match: Natalya vs Melina. First of all, let me say, I kinda popped when I saw Natalya’s Bret Hart inspired jacket with the tassles on the shoulders! And here we get a change from the more technical style we saw between Gail and Melina. Natalya is just an absolute powerhouse, she is smash-mouth and in your face. That offsets Melina nicely, who is more energetic. I love seeing Natalya wrestle!

So Melina tags out to Mickie James, bringing on dream match number three. Again, Mickie is more fast paced in the ring and this match sped up when she got tagged in. It’s a shame that Natalya got barely any offense in on Mickie, who dominated this portion of the match. But that slam from top rope had to have hurt! Layla’s one spot in the match was near perfect, a very nicely executed low-dropkick on Natalya. And then out the ring she goes to the floor, ouch that had to have hurt!

My only problem is that while the SmackDown Divas did play up some tension, the Raw Divas seemed all friendly. Doesn’t Melina hate Jillian? Isn’t Layla meant to be a heel? Yet she goes and hugs Mickie. The post-match celebration could have been toned down a little more. Nonetheless, the whole match was enjoyable.

Later in the evening, we got a fun segment between Beth Phoenix and Santina who seems to have hijacked Rico’s old music. I can’t lie, I was laughing hard. “I’m more woman than you’ll ever be!” The interaction between Santina and Beth was gold. The match was hardly technical and nothing to write home about, but it did it’s job. Sure, Beth had to job to a man in drag, but in terms of storyline I think this will help send Beth over the edge and we’ll get more entertaining programming for the next few weeks.

Santino’s acting was top-notch, it kind of reminded me of Chris Lilley playing Ja’mie in Summer Heights High.

Videos after the cut:

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News & Notes From Tonight’s Raw

In case you missed Raw, there was a few things to note. First of all, the 5-on-5 Raw vs. SmackDown match was actually not half bad. We saw Raw’s Mickie James, Melina, Jillian, Layla, and Kelly Kelly take on SmackDown’s Maryse, Natalya, Maria, Gail Kim, and Eve Torres. Hopefully the WWE is listening to the … Read more

Diva Dirt Posts WrestleMania Photoshoot, Remains Defiant While Doing So

WWE.com has posted a photoshoot with all the Miss WrestleMania window dressing participants titled “WrestleMania Backstage Beauties”. As always with our lovely Divas, it’s a delightful mix of cute (Molly Holly‘s old tights!), sexy (Lilian), head-scratching (Jackie Gayda and Eve), skanky (Joy), overkill (Brie Bella), and cross-dresser chic (hey Maria, I thought Santino was supposed … Read more

WrestleMania Spotlight: Natalya

With the Divas Battle Royal at WrestleMania 25 quickly approaching, Diva Dirt has decided to take a closer look at each of the known and rumored participants in the matchup and assess their odds of winning as being High, Moderate, or Low. The winner, of course, will be crowned the first ever “Miss WrestleMania.” This … Read more

Raw Redux – March 30, 2009

*Headdesk* ‘Twas the final Raw before WrestleMania when WWE made sure they hammered home that ‘Divas suck’. One last reminder of our dashed hopes and dreams as we head into yet another underwhelming ‘Mania for the Divas. Last year, it was a glorified tag team match we could see any other week on Raw. The … Read more

Natalya’s a Hitman (But in a Good Way)

Natalya‘s getting into her Hart roots in her new photoshoot, “Pink Obsession”. She’s wearing the trademark pink, and while it’s not something Bret would wear (as I recall, he was partial to singlets as opposed to belly-bearing tops), it’s certainly a clever female spin on his attire. It almost escapes into the realm of an … Read more

Hold Your Horses: ECW Divas Night Back On?

Now, it’s understandable if at this point you’ve got whiplash, what with the fate of the now-infamous ECW all-Divas special flip flopping back and forth faster than a Olympic ping pong match. However, it looks like it still may happen – just not tonight (obviously, unless they hop into the Delorean). WWE.com has footage exclusive … Read more

Like “Space Jam”, but Without the Talking Cartoon Characters

Well, for those of you who were upset at the lack of Candice, Maryse, or Kelly in last week’s “March Madness: First Round” photoshoot, you can go ahead and have your hissy fit, because the “Second Round” is up, and it’s the same Divas as last time, just different poses. There’s not much to say, … Read more

WrestleMania Fantasy Face-Off: Victoria vs Natalya

While WrestleMania’s 25 Diva battle royal might be a dream come true for some Diva fans, its a train wreck waiting to happen for most. What happened to the good ol’, one-on-one matchups. Well for the next few weeks leading up to WrestleMania, Diva Dirt will be  bringing you the  Wrestlemania dream matches that we wish would … Read more

We’re All Mad Here

With NCAA March Madness kicking off today, the Divas donned jerseys of their favorite teams (but really just the ones with the prettiest colors) and posed for a photoshoot that WWE.com is calling “March Madness: Round One”, which leads me to believe there’s more to come from the Divas we don’t see here. Some of … Read more

Why’d You Have to Go and Make Things So Complicated?

Natalya may be treading dangerously into Avril Lavigne territory in her new photoshoot “Hart-breaker”, but she does it pretty well. Quite frankly, she’s looking so Diva-ish it’s kind of scary. Where’s my crazy Nattie? Anywho, I like her dress, but maybe if she lost the tights the look wouldn’t appear so bulky. Then again, maybe … Read more