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SmackDown Redux (February 12th, 2010): Going Around in Circles

After humiliating Michelle McCool and Layla at the Royal Rumble and snaring the coveted Women’s Championship on the same night, you’d think the jibes and taunts at Mickie James‘ expense would be over by now. Wrong. It’s evident that SmackDown has hit a creative roadblock as we seem to be going around in circles with little to no new storyline progressio — same old story. Watch this week’s action below:

McCool and Layla once again tease Mickie over her weight at the crafts table where a bowl of fruit is laid next to a bowl of cottage cheese. [Seriously, what crafts table has a bowl of cottage cheese anyway?] Mickie says that ‘this between us’ is over but Lay-Cool have other plans. Mickie smacks the bowl of cottage cheese out of Michelle’s hand and one obviously inserted sound effect later, we’re led to be believe that it was dumped all over a bystanding Vickie Guerrero.

In the ring then, we’re ready for Mickie vs Layla with James getting in a few forearms and a low dropkick before the match is stopped by Guerrero. Looks like Mickie is set to catch hell from Vickie. Guerrero makes the match a handicap match and as if by magic, Michelle is already taking off her hoodie, belt and shoes. As McCool gets in the ring, she’s attacked by Mickie who then fights back with a kick to the stomach as Layla gets her licks in. Mickie is thrown against the ropes but comes back with a kick to Michelle and slams her face first to the canvas. She then follows through with a Thesz Press on Layla. Michelle comes at her, Mickie sweeps her off her feet and goes for a bridged pin but Layla hits her with a low dropkick, breaking up the pin.

Mickie tries to fight back against Lay-Cool but is overpowered by McCool who hits her with a spinning backbreaker. Mickie is thrown into a corner and McCool hits a high knee. Layla then has her turn but is thrown over the top ropes by Mickie who then hits her with a forearm. She hits McCool with an elbow and goes for her patented headscissors from the corner but Layla grabs her hair. Mickie is forced to let go of the hold on Michelle and then kicks Layla off the apron.

Michelle comes charging at her with a huge [barefoot] big boot and a Faith Breaker for the win.

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The “Piggie James” Impact

If you’re a fan of women’s wrestling and more specifically, the WWE Divas, then you are familiar with the “Piggie James” storyline that has graced our television screens in recent weeks. The angle has ignited a lot of discussion and controversy due to the sensitive issue it has been dealing with; a woman’s weight and image. The WWE constantly promotes their women as smart, sexy, and powerful and with those labels come certain expectations. I’m almost positive the girls employed by World Wrestling Entertainment are expected to maintain their appearance at the highest level they possibly can. I’m purely speculating here, but seeing as how the majority of their roster is filled with models, the girls get hired for their looks alone. If want to sit here and nitpick, the male portion of the roster has its fair share of lookers to but that’s not what’s important today. In the entertainment world, looks are everything, and as sad as it is, Mickie James could be considered big for a diva by some people.

Personally, I find it absolutely ridiculous to call Mickie James fat, but the writers over at the ‘E saw a chance for a storyline and they decided to role with it. Week after week we got a chance to see then Women’s Champion, Michelle McCool, and her BFF, Layla, humiliate and taunt Mickie for being “overweight”. Team Laycool (and sometimes Beth Phoenix) made Mickie’s life a living hell until the Royal Rumble when Mickie finally got some much needed and oh so sweet revenge. Laycool got served a nasty little dish of their own medicine and Michelle suffered the ultimate embarrassment of losing her precious title in less than a minute. I thought the end justified the storyline, and overall I thought the angle was brilliant. Lets face it, the WWE just doesn’t care about their divas like they used too. The Diva division has suffered in the post-Trish era. I don’t know if it’s because the WWE just doesn’t care these days, or if it’s because they don’t have the confidence in any of their women like they had Trish. Either way, women haven’t had legit storylines in a long time and their three minute matches have been sloppily put together and terrible to say the least.

Since the draft last April, Smackdown has more than proven itself as the place to be if you’re a diva. The girls on the blue brand are given a little more time and for the most part, better writing. As a diva fan, I didn’t find Piggie James appalling whatsoever. I found it funny, dramatic, annoying, and I enjoyed it. As a woman, I sympathized with Mickie and wanted to punch Michelle McCool and her perfect little self in the face. Us diva fans were FINALLY given a storyline we could get emotionally attached too. We were made to root for Mickie and we were made to hate on LayCool for their terrible actions. All women were given mic time. They were given segments. The storyline had extreme build and that’s something we haven’t seen since the days of Trish and Lita. Our girls were finally given time to shine. I had no idea Michelle was capable of comedy. I had no clue I could ever be made to want Mickie James win a match. I was so excited to see what Beth Phoenix would do and which side she would pick. I even marked out for Maria when she got herself involved and cut the best promo she’s ever done. This simple, childish storyline brought something out of each and every woman involved and it was refreshing to see. Despite the touchy issue it was built on, I think everything worked out well in the end. Us Diva fans were finally given a reason to get excited and emotional.

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SmackDown Redux (February 5th, 2010) – New Champion, Same Drama

With a new Women’s Champion crowned at the Royal Rumble in Mickie James, it seemed like a new era for the SmackDown Divas division. Not quite. Despite a new champion, we still have the same three-way problem though slightly altered: Beth Phoenix wants the title, Michelle McCool wants the title and Mickie James wants to keep the title. A three-way match between these two had been teased in the early weeks of January but somewhere along the way, the focus shifted back to Mickie and Michelle leading to the Rumble. But now it looks like we’re once again on course for a triple threat scenario. New champion Mickie found out on SmackDown this week that being champ ain’t easy:

Mickie has been Women’s Champion five times now but how many times has she gotten to give a post-win promo? Not many. Already, her fifth run is off to a great start as Mickie gets to do the whole “We did it!” pow-wow that we see from the men. As can be expected from such a paint-by-numbers speech, just as she talks about anyone challenging her to go ahead — she’s interrupted. The Glamazon, Beth Phoenix, fresh from using her feminine wiles~ to eliminate Khali in the Rumble match, is out to boast about doing so. Really, Beth? You’re going to brag how you acted slutty like it’s a good thing? I kid. Kinda. Tangent: I didn’t really comment on the whole Beth-Rumble thing so I’ll do it here. I think it’s great that she was in the Rumble and got a big moment but of course it had to be played out with the most cliched tactic in the world. Somewhere a woman is burning her bra in anger.

Anyhoo, Glamazon says she can take Mickie’s title whenever she wants and as things are about to pop off, out comes Vickie Guerrero. Hey Striker, where are the fat jokes for Vickie? Anyway, Vickie says it’ll be the two of them versus the ‘true number one contender’ Michelle McCool and Layla.

Out come Lay-Cool in cute matching hoodies and for a second there I thought they were gonna emulate the Beautiful People entrance but thankfully, they didn’t bend over and touch their toes. Michelle McCool surprisingly graces the SmackDown ring with her presence this week, her first full-length match on the show it seems in quite some time. And if the prospect of Beth vs Michelle isn’t tantilising, I don’t know what is. Beth shoves Michelle to the mat with great force before picking her up effortlessly and tossing her to the canvas. Beth throws Michelle into the corner and hits her with a butt bump and shoulder blocks. Michelle counters with a low dropkick to Beth’s knee, taking her off her feet and giving McCool some momentum.

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Royal Rumble in Review: Sweet Revenge & A Rumble Match Treat

Week after week, we have witnessed Michelle McCool and Layla crack about 10,000 jokes, all with the same punchline: Mickie is fat. As lamented as this “Piggie James” storyline has been here at Diva Dirt, with its fat jokes and barnyard humor, it has been given one of the biggest buildups in recent Diva memory, and it was reasonable to think that they would cap off this pretty silly storyline with a decent enough match, at least to make the juvenile booking somewhat worth it. After all, their match at TLC was pretty damn good. Let’s see if Mickie and Michelle were able to transcend the “Mean Girls” cliches and mature a bit:

Michelle comes out to the ring, microphone in hand, and explains to the crowd that Mickie was a no-show tonight. “Where oh where has my piggie gone?”, she laments. She figures Mickie is forfeiting. Layla shows up in her fat suit, doing the same Mickie impression she did last Friday. She doesn’t get very far, though, before the real Mickie emerges and attacks her. She tosses FatSuitLayla into the barricade, as Michelle looks horrified. Did she really think Mickie was a no-show? Would that be why they left her off SmackDown last week–to fool Michelle into thinking Mickie went into hiding? That’s the only reason I can think of why Layla would come prancing down to the ring in a fat suit not once, but twice, and not even watch her back.

Mickie gets into the ring, and the match starts. FatSuitLayla isn’t quite done sticking her plastic pig nose into Mickie’s business, though, and climbs up the apron to distract her. It works for a split second, and Michelle charges with her boot but Mickie dodges, replaying a similar collision from TLC: Michelle accidentally delivers a big boot to Layla and lays out her backup. Michelle turns around right into a kick from Mickie, who plants her with the Mickie T. One 3-count later, and we have a new Women’s Champion!

FatSuitLayla comes into to check on her fallen friend, and Mickie hits her with a kick that lands her smack dab on top of Michelle. Meanwhile, several babyface Divas (Maria, Gail, Kelly, Eve, and the Bellas) come to the ring with a rather large cake in tow. Similar to what Laycool and Beth did to Mickie a week before, the Divas prop up Michelle and Layla as Mickie plants the giant cake in both their faces, the other Divas smearing it in. Michelle and Layla do a good job of acting horrified and look pretty damn hilarious blinded by yellow cake and icing while pitching a fit. Mickie celebrates with her newly-won title and smears some more icing in their faces, tasting it for good measure. All the good girls make their exit as the bad girls wallow in their “just desserts” (it’s okay, you can boo.. it was a pretty awful joke).

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SmackDown Redux (January 29th, 2010) – The Joke’s Over, Folks

For the past few months, the storyline on SmackDown has centered around Mickie James‘ weight with the Diva being taunted and called ‘Piggie James’. WWE even went as far as to create a graphic like the old Looney Tunes cartoons saying, “That’s all, folks” — a line reused by Michelle McCool on this week’s SmackDown. What became evident on this week’s SmackDown is that the joke is wearing thin and to WWE, I say: “The joke’s over, folks.”

Women’s Champion Michelle McCool discusses the huge favour she did for the fans by running Mickie James off SmackDown last week — complete with replays! Michelle then challenges any of the girls to face her right then and there for the Women’s Championship in lieu of her Royal Rumble match with Mickie. James’ music hits but instead of Mickie, out comes Layla in a fat suit wearing a similar outfit to Mickie’s signature ring attire — complete with hat! Cue a ‘hell to the no’ look on the face of the viewer but the anger soon subsides as Layla begins jiggling around on stage and as offensive as I found it, I couldn’t help but giggle at Layla’s delivery which had some humour in it.

Layla as ‘Piggie James’ makes her way down the ramp before getting on the microphone claiming she didn’t get enough food last week. It was mean but funny. Layla then gets into the ring challenging Michelle for the belt, Layla runs at Michelle in the corner who moves out of the way and trips Layla before pinning her for the win.

The underlying Mickie bullying continues and after last week’s humiliation it was hard to top that this week. I think WWE did such an amazing job last week in making Mickie relatable to the audience and then not to even have her on the show this week was ridiculous. They had an opportunity to capitalise on the way they used her last week and blew it. A quick backstage promo saying she would be at the Rumble and she would prove herself there would have done the trick, I mean how hard could a quick segment like that be? Instead what we got was more childish humour that makes you not care about the angle. Instead of making it seem like a true storyline, as it came across last week, with us wanting to root for Mickie — what WWE has done has made fans roll their eyes and want the childish drama to be over. There’s only so many shenanigans that you can pull off before they start to wear thin and this one did wear thin on the audience.

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Can SmackDown Give the Women’s Division Its Respect Back?

In the past few years many people have [wrongly] assumed that the lackluster women’s division in WWE is due to the Divas themselves. With no Trish Stratus or Lita leading the pack, the division has admittedly waned but I would argue, it’s not because of the women in it. It’s because of the writing. In a post-Trish era, it all went downhill. Not to toot her horn too much, but it’s true — Trish was seemingly the only Diva that WWE had full confidence in carrying a real storyline, developing it for several months, engaging the viewer and delivering that great blow-off match that we all anticipate. When she left, the effort stopped.

It’s not that any one of the girls can’t do the same, they just haven’t been given the opportunity to. Storylines that once spanned months now span weeks, matches on Raw — once home of the coveted Women’s Championship — are now usually half as long and half as exciting. The audience itself, paying customers, have stopped lapping up the Divas action and instead feel something apathy and indifference. You may have your own arguments as to why Diva A or Diva B aren’t over but my argument is this: the audience, you know the ones that pay for the honour, don’t care because WWE has given them little reason to care over the years. Any one of those girls could be over if WWE gave them the attention to detail in character that they gave Trish, the same effort in storylining that they gave Trish and had a little confidence in the girls to do their own thing, like they did Trish.

While many have switched over to TNA or perhaps SHIMMER, it’s been a long road but hope isn’t lost. WWE does know how to do women’s wrestling because they’ve done it before and it seems, they may be looking to do it again. Last week’s segment on Friday Night SmackDown was easily the best thing the Divas have done in quite some time — the closest thing to the original ‘golden era’ of Divas that is so treasured.

This segment to me is the biggest milestone for the Divas division in years. It showed that the “smart, powerful and sexy” tagline isn’t just a load of BS. It showed a confidence in the Divas that has been less than visible of the years. And it showed that the girls can tell great stories too.

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SmackDown Redux (January 22nd, 2010): Seminal Moment for SmackDown

It’s official: this is where women’s wrestling is at. SmackDown, in my humble estimation, is now the premiere series to be watching if you are looking for women’s wrestling on your televisual boxes. That was never more evident than tonight’s episode, where despite not even having a match, SmackDown proved that it is the show that everyone should be watching. Compelling storylines, well written characters and great performances — it’s hard not to do double-take. This is WWE, right? Despite the recent years of fluff and disappointment, WWE have delivered perhaps one of their strongest Divas storylines in quite some time and this week’s show is a seminal moment in what I expect will be a turning of the tide. There’s nothing Diva-y about this week’s SmackDown, to spin the old line used by WCW — this is where the big girls play.

Beginning this week’s Divas action, we saw the debut of Serena Mancini in what may go down as one of the most memorable debuts in Diva history.

PART 1

PART 2

Serena appears as a fan jumping the barricade during another scintilating straight edge promo from CM Punk, claiming she needs him. He says she knows he needs him. Honestly, the initial dialogue was as cheesy as a Twilight movie and I was expecting Punk to throw in a “You are my life now” at some point. That said, it did get better and Punk is golden at his whole shtick. We see Serena willing to make the ultimate sacrifice and denounce her life of addiction etc. and has her shaved head in the name of her saviour, Punk.

All in all, I think this was a good segment and Serena played the cult-like psycho very well. It’ll be interesting to see how she’s used from here with her bald head. I hope this works out for her, it’s a great sacrifice to make but she’s in the big leagues now. I hope she didn’t sacrifice this just to be the glorified bald manager for Punk’s Straight Edge Society. The setup of that group doesn’t really suggest to me that it’ll have a typical manager/wrestler dynamic ala Hart Dynasty. I expect we’ll see Serena actually getting nitty-gritty and I look forward to it. Perhaps she herself could target a Diva and try to ‘help’ them?

Next up, Mickie’s ‘going away’ party:

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SmackDown Redux (January 15th, 2010) – Michelle’s Going in for the Kill

The Lost-like wheel of fortune stops on Michelle McCool this week, continuing the analogy that each week a different Diva is the main focus of the SmackDown storyline. The Women’s Champion, who recently celebrated 200 days with the gold, threw her hat into the race to prove just who the most dominant Diva is on … Read more

Perfect 10: Week of January 4th, 2010

The Perfect 10 counts down the ten Divas and Knockouts who have had the best week in television on Raw, SmackDown, ECW and TNA Impact. The Perfect 10 considers matches, promos, character development and more. Who’ll be #1 this week? THIS WEEK MOVEMENT DIVA LAST WEEK AWESOME KONG & HAMADA After a hard fought battle, … Read more

SmackDown Redux (January 8th, 2010) – Layla’s Time to Shine

She may not be the priority in the three-way feud between Beth Phoenix, Michelle McCool and Mickie James but this week on SmackDown, Layla proved to be the dark horse in this storyline — the glue, if you will, that has held this feud together and that was never more apparent than it was on tonight’s show. Her fantastic acting, comedy chops and hard work in the ring have made her the perfect go-to girl for much of this feud. It’s not Michelle McCool that’s getting in the ring on a weekly basis and wrestling Mickie James and Beth Phoenix — it’s Layla. And if you ask me, it’s the teaming of Michelle and Layla that has helped the Women’s Champion break out of her box and show more charisma and personality than she has in the past several years. She may be treated like a jobber in WWE but watching her work this week, it became obvious to me that without her, this feud wouldn’t have worked half as well as it has and she deserves credit for it.

A few weeks ago, I likened the ongoing SmackDown storyline as a little bit like Lost — each week, the story seems to center around a certain character with the events unfolding from their point of view. We have had Mickie James and Beth Phoenix take starring roles in previous weeks and it seems this week was Layla’s turn.

It all begins backstage…

Once again we have a backstage segment with ‘Piggie James’ jokes, this time Team Lay-Cool unveil a pig trough for Mickie. Lame. Layla cutely gets some lettuce in her mouth with Michelle flicking it away. I’m particularly liking the underlying situation with Michelle and Layla with the latter playing the Gretchen Wieners to Michelle’s Regina George; Michelle, the leader of the group, kind of deflects everything onto Layla [“I think you annoyed her”]. It could play into an interesting feud should Michelle and Layla ever split up.

Next we have Beth vs Layla:

Beth makes her entrance first followed by a somewhat hesitant Layla, who by the way looks a lot like Halle Berry in Catwoman in that attire. Somewhat new fact about Layla — she’s Moroccan and fluent in Arabic, thanks Matt Striker! I love Layla selling her being afraid from the outset, wary of Beth Phoenix as she makes her entrance and does her signature pose on the ring ropes. All too often these girls have little psychology when it comes to stuff like that, they’ll come down to the ring all smiley-faced and happy as usual even though they have a big match ahead of them. Granted, this isn’t exactly a huge Michelle-Mickie type grudge match, but it’s nice to give that vibe of Layla being afraid of Beth and it paints Beth in a great light as well.

Even as the match is about to start, Layla tries to call out to Michelle on the outside of the ring to help her and begs Beth not to go through with the match. Nice touch. Layla extends her hand for a handshake but Beth grabs it and uses it to shoulder-block Lay to the canvas. Beth then hoists Layla over her shoulder, again Layla is screaming for her life in great comedic fashion. Beth circles the spot dizzying Layla before dropping her front-first.

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Unwrapped: Eye Candy for the Week Ending January 2nd, 2010

Welcome to this week’s edition of Unwrapped! As always, we will be grading all of the new photoshoots (or “eye candy”, as we like to call them) from the week gone by, judging them like so:

Sweet (Great)Bland (Iffy)Sour (Awful)

You, the reader, will also get the chance to grade the “eye candy” yourself by giving your opinion on each shoot and voting for your favorite out of the whole bunch. Now, dive in!

Note: We missed a Bella twins shoot from a few weeks ago, so I’m covering it now. I do not hold responsibility for any possible overdose on the Bellas suffered during the viewing of this post.

Brie & Nikki Bella‘s Goaltending
Grade: Sour. Continuing with the “Bellas do sexy sports shoots” trend, Brie and Nikki are posing in front of a goal with hockey sticks. I’m not quite seeing the point of the Bellas doing a hockey-themed shoot, and I see even less of a point of doing it the way they’re doing it here. The poses are pretty dumb, especially the ones using the sticks in a “suggestive” manner–it just looks silly and about as subtle as a hammer to the head. That, paired with their clashing outfits (Brie in a baseball-type shirt and skirt and Nikki in a dress) make for a confusing photoshoot. It’s like they took a meh concept and injected it with so many different ingredients that it came out stinking to high heaven instead of just being boring. I vote that the Bellas take a break from the contrived sports-themed shoots and do more shoots like the one below..
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.
[poll id=”497″]

Brie & Nikki Bella‘s Marigolds
Grade: Sweet. Unlike the shoot above, the Bellas keep it pretty simple in this one, relying on their matching outfits and twin chemistry to drive the shoot. Personally, that’s how I like these tandem shoots to be done instead of the bar advertisement-worthy ones the WWE ropes them into sometimes. The ring gear they’re wearing here is bright gold and chock-a-block with ruffles–it probably isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but I like it for the theme they have going with their gear. As long as they keep it the a single color, these tights can keep from looking too tacky. Their poses, without the lame props to detract from the shoot, simply consist of them standing next to each other, but they compliment each other well and make it interesting–they play off each other well and don’t just look like two random girls put into the photoshoot together. This, I believe, is how the Bellas’ photoshoots should be–plenty sexy, but not cheesy.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.
[poll id=”498″]

Read more to see the rest of this week’s photoshoots.

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SmackDown Redux (January 1st, 2009) – New Year’s Day Dominance

The first Divas match of 2010 ended in a fight for dominance for the SmackDown Divas, as three of the Divas tried to show the others who’s boss. But before that, we got to see another match between Beth Phoenix and Mickie James. It may be a new year but some things never change! Watch … Read more

Year-End Awards 2009: Most Improved Wrestler

2009 is now over and we are celebrating with our second annual Year-End Awards. This year, we have had thousands of votes as you have voted for the top Divas, Knockouts, matches and moments of 2009!And now it’s time to reveal the winners.

MOST IMPROVED WRESTLER

The nominees are:

* Daffney
* Eve Torres
* Layla
* Michelle McCool
* Taylor Wilde

Continue for the result:

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Year-End Awards 2009: Most Stylish

2009 is now over and we are celebrating with our second annual Year-End Awards. This year, we have had thousands of votes as you have voted for the top Divas, Knockouts, matches and moments of 2009!And now it’s time to reveal the winners.

MOST STYLISH

The nominees are:

* Alicia Fox
* Layla
* Maryse
* Michelle McCool
* Rosa Mendes

Continue for the result:

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Year-End Awards 2009: Best Tweeter

2009 is now over and we are celebrating with our second annual Year-End Awards. This year, we have had thousands of votes as you have voted for the top Divas, Knockouts, matches and moments of 2009!And now it’s time to reveal the winners.

BEST TWEETER

The nominees are:

* Awesome Kong (@awesomekong)
* Layla (@mslayel)
* Maryse (@maryse0uellet)
* Michelle McCool (@McCoolMichelleL)
* Tara (@tnalisamarie)

Continue for the result:

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SmackDown Redux (December 25th, 2009) – A Christmas Corker

Santa has delivered this week’s SmackDown early, hurrah! So instead of interrupting your Christmas Day celebrations, and mine, I thought I’d write the Redux tonight instead.

This week’s Christmas Day edition of SmackDown was sort of like a Christmas cracker — someone gets a prize but someone has to lose. It’s all very bittersweet. That’s how I felt about this week’s edition of SmackDown. On the one hand, the blue brand once again delivered gripping Divas action that will leave you on tenterhooks until next week but on the other hand, there was an over-abundance of that God awful ‘Piggie James’ crap to boot. I’d like to think however, that by all the Divas action was said and done — the Christmas edition of SmackDown was quite the corker!

Let’s start off with the backstage segment in which Michelle McCool and Layla give Mickie James a Christmas gift:

So Michelle and Layla present Mickie with a Jenny Craig gift certificate and it’s very evident that whoever wrote this put more effort into coming up with the ‘Christmas ham’ line than most things they do with the Divas. The creative new ways they seem to find every week to insult Mickie goes to show that when they actually care, the writers put in effort. It’s a shame what they care about is ridiculing a long time, valuable employee on national television every fucking week. The end of the segment sees a long gazing shot at Mickie who is clearly upset by McCool and Layla’s ‘gift’.

As for the acting in this segment, despite what was being said, I thought McCool and Layla had good delivery. Though the unison chanting with hands in the air has already gotten old. As horrible as it may be, the attention that this storyline has gotten week to week, has to be something of a motivator to Michelle because I feel she’s stepped up her game in recent weeks in the acting department. She does sell the part well and I think this could be the storyline that finally draws her heat from the crowd.

Next up, we have a Divas tag team match.

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Diva Dirt Style Jury: Week of December 14th, 2009

Welcome to the Diva Dirt Style Jury! No more are the separate ‘Best’ and ‘Worst’ lists, instead, we have come up with a scientific approach *cough* to compiling our weekly fashion column. The Diva Dirt team will weigh in on the different looks from the week gone by & mark each look with a score out of ten. The look with the highest average score will be our best look and the look with the lowest average score will be the worst look. Click each photo to see the look in full size.

Let the proverbial runway show begin!

ALICIA FOX
Erin: Is this a top and a skirt or a dress? Either way, I’m not too keen on it. The pattern could be cute on another clothing item, but here it looks a bit too “Malibu Barbie” for me. 4/10
Melanie: It’s er, unique? I know Alicia has her own quirky style and all, that’s cool but I just can’t… 3/10

THE BELLA TWINS
Erin: It’s not the smartest thing in the world to wear such short, tight dresses for an Evening Gown match, but the dresses themselves aren’t bad at all. I prefer the one with less lace, though. 7/10
Melanie: I like these outfits. I don’t think we can ever expect anything mind-blowing from the Bellas, but this is a step in the right direction. 6/10

Read on for more of this week’s outfits and to see who’s been branded our winner and loser.

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In Pictures: SmackDown Divas’ Santa’s Little Helpers Match

The Divas of SmackDown [and ECW] have been ‘Santa suiting up’ [bonus points if you get the reference] this weekend on the house show circuit. The team of Mickie James, Maria and Savannah have been taking on Michelle McCool, Layla and Beth Phoenix in ‘Santa’s Little Helpers’ matches and Diva Dirt reader Harmony was there … Read more

SmackDown Redux (December 18th, 2009) – Rise of the Phoenix

sd_121809

It’s been the biggest week of Maria‘s career with appearances on all three brands but it ended on a sour note on SmackDown, with Beth Phoenix not only defeating her but stealing the show. Things have progressed at rapid speed for the WWE Divas over the past week; this time last week, we were talking about Michelle McCool vs Mickie James at TLC — a match that has now passed and since then, all the talk has been about Maria’s Diva of the Year win at the Slammys and now we see the rise of the Phoenix, Beth Phoenix that is.

The Glamazon was the one constant for the Divas this week on SmackDown, appearing in all three Divas segments and receiving some much needed character progression. One thing was clear from the moment Beth began speaking though — this was not the Beth Phoenix of yore. It seems as though that face turn many of our readers have been hoping for may just happen as Beth came across as more of a tweener than the big bad heel we’re used to seeing her as. Watch a more docile Beth with Maria and Mickie below:

The segment starts with Maria and Mickie playing the latest SmackDown vs Raw game, complete with silly commentary. I loved Maria’s, “We got ’em both. Got ’em both!” Perhaps my heart is beginning to thaw this yuletide but Maria’s slapstick is beginning to grow on me. In comes Beth as the ‘mom’, rather than act like the brash heel we’re used to seeing her as, it was clear that this was a different Beth. A Beth that was less threatening and more nurturing. It reminds me of that rant on America’s Next Top Model when Tyra yelled at that chick. “I was rooting for you, we were all rooting for you.” Rather than get in her former rivals’ faces, she comes across as more of a ‘disappointed friend’. A clear sign that this is a new, tweener Beth. I really liked this segment, I have to say. Beth to me, came across as the voice of the people — the voice of the Diva fan. Sure it’s scripted but the way they’re scripting Beth is what the fans want and it shows that they aren’t out of touch with what the fans want because they have Beth here pretty much saying what’s on our mind. Again Maria cuts in with her humour, and again I’m amused. Damn you, Kanellis! The little ‘congratulations’ and ‘thank you’ between Maria and Mickie was cute too.

Next up, it’s time for ‘Beth goes roaming part two’ as this time she bumps into Layla and Michelle McCool.

Michelle tries to gain Beth’s favour by saying she hopes she and Layla didn’t rub her the wrong way upon her arrival to SmackDown. This then descends into another excuse for WWE to take jibes at Mickie James. Michelle shows some improvement here and there’s more inflection in her voice than ever before, she’s definitely working on adding more personality to her promos. I was quite tickled by Michelle calling Maria ‘underfed’, oh the irony. The “She ain’t getting no food” was just lame. Michelle’s ‘huge proportions’ line was well delivered but outdone by Layla, who was quite funny in her delivery. Anyway, the camera cuts to Beth Phoenix who realises that all the things they’re saying about Mickie could apply to her too and she speaks up. I’m glad they did this because it’s that old age movie convention — bullies never prosper. It puts all the weeks of ‘Piggie James’ crap into context in that eventually, Michelle and Layla will get what they deserve although it seems, not at the hands of Mickie, but rather at the hands of Beth. It definitely seems like this sets the stage for WWE turning Beth and having her feud with Michelle. And as face turns go, I think this is a very logical way to do it. The sensitive subject of a woman’s weight that WWE is exploiting on national television is disgusting and I think that many of the audience members will be waiting to see Michelle & Layla get their just desserts. Having Beth’s turn face coincide with that could be a genius move, because as a result of serving said just desserts, the crowd will be behind Beth and that will give her momentum. But while Michelle and Layla’s characters may have to pay penance for their actions, the WWE higher ups who are pretty much ‘script-bullying’ Mickie, will likely never get their just desserts. But I digress, that’s a story for another day.

Next we have the Maria vs Beth match:

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Raw Redux (December 14th, 2009) – What’s Wrong With This Picture?

Last night’s Raw, in all its bloated 3 hour glory, was the annual Slammy Awards edition. Among the awards to be handed out were Diva of the Year, which was to be voted on by the fans at WWE.com. As we waited on pins and needles (not) to find out who won the award, we pondered whether the award would be given to support a storyline via rigging by the WWE or a popularity contest held by the voting public. As is turns out, it was neither, and I’ll explain my theory as we come to it.

We start our Divas action (not counting the Divas presenting awards throughout the night) with a Jerry Springer-esque evening gown tag team match. The babyfaces–Mickie James, Melina, Brie & Nikki Bella, Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, and Maria are taking on the heels–Michelle McCool, Layla, Maryse, Beth Phoenix, Natalya, Alicia Fox, and Rosa Mendes. Most look out of place and trashy in their gowns, and I would critique them (I’ll save that for this week’s Style Jury), but I’m much more distracted by the fact that they’re WRESTLING IN EVENING GOWNS. Well, this’ll be one mesmerizing clusterfuck:


Skip to 2:52

They start with a line-up face-off, trading verbal barbs before heading off their their respective corners. Mickie and Rosa start off the match, Rosa takign advantage and tossing Mickie around, pounding her head on the mat. They trade slaps, and Rosa tosses Mickie into the corner. Mickie blocks her attack, locking her head with her legs and hitting a hurricanrana. She then pulls her to her feet, hitting her Mickie-T to get the pin an the win for her team.

I have to say, this is one of the few moments where I’m glad that a Diva match was cut short. I’m glad that no more than two Divas had to humiliate themselves by wrestling in their dresses. Mickie and Rosa did as awkwardly as I expected, but hey, someone had to take the bullet. Now that the match is over, it’s time for the Diva of the Year Slammy to be awarded. The girls line up in anticipation as MVP and Goldust present the award.

Our winner is announced as, drumroll please…. Maria??? MVP’s reaction right before he reads her name says it all, and Maria looks as shocked as the rest of us as she goes up to accept her award, saying a typical acceptance speech before being interrupted by Batista in a douche costume, doing a Kanye West impression that’s not only awful but over 3 months old. If the joke were a carton of milk, it would have expired into a living organism at this point and, ironically, would be more worthy of a Diva of the Year award than Maria. Maria plays Taylor Swift as she left the stage and allowed Dave to be “escorted” off by security.

But as we watch the wild pink-polo-wearing douchebag be captured in his natural habitat, we’re left to ponder the reasoning behind this decision to crown Maria as Diva of the Year. Was is it truly a popularity contest, and she was just the most popular Diva among the fans? Or was it rigged for storyline purposes? As I said earlier, I believe it was neither, because I have a theory. Yes, Maria is popular, and I do not doubt that fans flocked to vote for her in the poll, but I don’t believe her star power amongst the casual fans is that much stronger than, say, a Mickie James or a Kelly Kelly.

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Unwrapped: Eye Candy for the Week(s) Ending December 12th, 2009

We’ve modified our Unwrapped feature a bit. On top of our grading, we’ll give you the chance to give your own grade to each photoshoot, “branding” each like so:

Sweet (Great)Bland (Iffy)Sour (Awful)

NOTE: I missed last week’s post due to a busy schedule, so I’ve combined the photoshoots from the past two weeks into one mega post. Enjoy!

Alicia Fox‘s Heavy Metal
Grade: Sweet. The aesthetic of the steel against the all-black ensemble create a rock-n-roll vibe, and Alicia supports that with her serious and sexy poses. She poses against the door in interesting ways, using her arms and legs to tell the story rather than relying on her face or physique to capture the attention. Her outfit–black leather-like tights, black tube top, black knee-high boots, a black headband, and an eye-catching belt–is simple but extremely sexy. The fact that they’re all in black don’t detract from the look, but rather enhance it. Her figure is on full show, but it doesn’t look at all trashy.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.
[poll id=”469″]

Beth Phoenix‘s Poured In
Grade: Bland. The centerpiece of this shoot is the hot pink corset top, which, in my opinion, is its undoing. The jeans and boots are quite nice, but the corset looks like it’s literally sucking the life out of her–her bra looks ready to explode. She looks uncomfortable, judging by her facial expressions in a few photos and how gingerly she sits and stands. They might say “no pain, no gain”, but in this instance the pain didn’t help Beth gain a damn thing. Breathe Beth, breathe!!
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.
[poll id=”470″]

Read more to see the rest of this week’s photoshoots.

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Diva Dirt Style Jury: Week of November 23rd, 2009

ddstylejury

Welcome to the Diva Dirt Style Jury! No more are the separate ‘Best’ and ‘Worst’ lists, instead we have come up with a scientific approach *cough* to compiling our weekly fashion column. The Diva Dirt team will weigh in on the different looks from the week gone by & mark each look with a score out of ten. The look with the highest average score will be our best look and the look with the lowest average score will be the worst look. Click each photo to see the look in full size.

Let the proverbial runway show begin!

BETH PHOENIX
Erin: The phoenix on the tights kind of looks like a slapped-on decal. The whole thing is rather dull–I really prefer Beth’s more colorful outfits. 5/10
Melanie: I’m not a huge fan of her brightly coloured Glamasuits [the red, blue and green ones] but I much prefer them to this. They have more spark and personality. 4/10
Steven: Nice to see The Glamazon getting back to some normal ring gear. Those shiny numbers were kicking my ass. Nothing different from the norm here, but Beth looks great nonetheless. 7/10

EVE TORRES
Erin: The silver and black aren’t anything special, but I still like the shorts Eve wrestles in. Maybe if there were more color in it, it’d look more interesting. 6/10
Melanie: I really dislike Eve’s ring gear; the shorts could be cute but the tops are just awful. 5/10
Steven: Same gear, different color. This silver one is a tad bland though. I definitely prefer her other metallic corsets over this one. 6/10

Read on for more of this week’s outfits and to see who’s been branded our winner and loser.

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Raw Redux (November 23rd, 2009) – A Turkey of a Return

Back in the 1920s, showbiz had a slang term for a failure or flop: they’d call it a turkey*. Fitting, given the failures we witnessed tonight on this Thanksgiving episode of Raw where a certain Diva went so far as to dress in a turkey costume for her big return. So, was it cleverly self-referential or just a bad idea? I think we know the answer to that, but just in case let’s watch the situation unfold and decide for ourselves:

Predictably, the Divas have dressed up for a “Mayflower Melee”, AKA Thanksgiving-themed 6-Diva tag match. The faces–Mickie James, Melina, and Kelly Kelly–are decked out in (*cough* super un-P.C. *cough*) Native American garb, while the heels–Michelle McCool, Layla, and Jillian–are Pilgrims. All look pretty ridiculous, even Kelly, who apparently decided to put on a tan dress and some Nikes and call it a day. But hey, at least she doesn’t look like she’s doing a Kindergarten Thanksgiving play like Michelle & co. I must say, I love how pissed they looked to be dressed in those Pilgrim costumes. At least they’re acknowledging how lame the idea is, unlike so many times in the past.

Before the match starts they are joined by the guest time keeper, the Gobbledy Gooker! …You know, the giant turkey that hatched on live television in what was known as one of the biggest “WTF” moments in WWE history? I guess since they had two Thanksgiving cliches represented, they decided to go for the trifecta. Gooker stands in the corner and awkwardly rings the bell, signaling the start of the match.

Melina and Jillian start out the match, probably praying that they can scrub off some of the bad mojo they’ve had with each other as of late. They start with a tie-up, Melina getting the upper hand by wrenching Jillian’s arm. Jillian gains control, slamming Melina to the mat. Melina reverses an irish-whip into the corner, sending Jillian into the turnbuckle and proceeding to send a shoulder into her stomach. She lays Jillian across the second ropes, prepping her a double-knee attack. Before she can do it, however, Jillian yanks her by her dress, pulling her to the mat. She tosses Melina by the hair and taunts the crowd a bit.

Jillian whips Melina into the ropes but Melina hangs on. Before she can do anything, though, Jillian meets her with an elbow to the face. She whips Melina into the turnbuckle, prepping for her handspring elbow attack. Before she can do any damage, Melina catches her with her legs, choking her and chopping her on the head. Once back on their feet Melina takes down Jillian with a (almost malfunctioned) facebuster. She goes for the pin, but Jillian kicks out.

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