With Jersey Shore star Snooki in the mix at WrestleMania, it was only a matter of time before Lay-Cool dressed up as the ‘guidette’ — and that’s exactly what they did on SmackDown this week. Try not to hurt your neck… it’s time to fist pump, Lay-Cool style:
Kicking off the Divas portion of the show are Kelly Kelly and Rosa Mendes set for tag team action against the ‘flawless BFFs’. Out they come in some interesting — and not at all ring-ready — outfits, plus the trademark Snooki poof hair, huge slippers and hairspray.
Kelly Kelly is all business and ready to wrestle but in true Lay-Cool style, Layla and Michelle ham up their Jersey Shore spoof, fist pumping and to their hearts’ content. That is until Kelly and Rosa break up the party by taking them down to the mat. Let the slippers fly!
Welcome to this week’s edition of the Superstars Redux. To recap last week, we all saw Eve, Natalya, Gail and Tamina squaring off against Melina, Alicia Fox and the Bella Twins. Although both sides fought valiantly, it was Eve that would end up picking up the victory for the babyfaces. This week, two of those ladies from last week’s bout hit the ring once more but with new tag team partners. The Divas once again secure a main event showing on WWE Superstars; new super-couple Daniel Bryan and Gail Kim facing the team of Tyson Kidd and Melina in mixed tag team action.
After conversing with their respective partners, it is the Divas that kick off the action for the match. Gail and Melina immediately lock up in the center of the ring, each struggling for control. Melina wins the first battle by pressing her opponent into the turnbuckle but the two are forced apart by the referee. The A-Lister obliges only to hit a cheap forearm shot on Gail to hopefully continue the upper hand. The babyface Diva comes back fighting with a couple of forearm shots of her own.
Gail attempts to Irish whip Melina into the corner, but is reversed into the corner herself. Melina goes to capitalize with a boot to the stomach while Gail is able to maneuver gracefully out of the way, onto the apron. Melina grows more frustrated by the minute and immediately goes on the attack with a shoulder block. The attack is missed completely as Gail connects with her apron stomp on the heel Diva. Gail dives over the ropes, pulling Melina into a sunset flip. The count barely reaches one status as Melina kicks out. The two return to a standing position as Melina charges for a clothesline, which is immediately countered by Gail into a stunning neckbreaker.
After being shafted from Raw last week, in favor of Snooki, Divas Champion, Eve, is in action this week, taking on Maryse in a non-title match. We even get a mid-match interruption by Michael Cole. Oh joy… Check out the match below:
We come from commercial to find Maryse already in the ring, doing the usual preening. Eve makes her way out next to a pretty good reaction, while Maryse mocks her from inside the ring. The official signals for the bell, but Maryse stops to do a very over-dramatic hairflip before the match begins. Eve brushes Maryse and does a little mocking of her own. Maryse offense and goes for a slap, but Eve dodges and strikes back with a slap of her own.
My, how the time flies. I feel like I just did this. Haha. Last week, we saw a six way tag team match between The Beautiful People and their paranormal counterpart against a midnight snack, a bowl of spicy salsa and their mile-wide hip…ster, Angelina Pivarnick. We also saw the quick and fruitless return of former TNA Knockout, Roxxi, to the Impact Zone. Needless to say, it was a definite sight to see. This week, we have yet another installment of the championship open challenge, as well as a mixed tag team street fight that is bound to leave us all scratching our heads. Are you as excited as I am? Oh come on. I know you are. It’s time to flip the switch and shine the light! Vamos!
Our fight glimpse comes from the trailer park behind the arena, where Angelina Love and Velvet Sky are seen prepping for their match later in the night. Well, A. Love is grooming her blonde locks while Velvet seems far too pumped. She tells Angelina to go after the little one while she finishes some unfinished business with Sarita. A. Love, all the while, seems none so interested and almost spaced out while Vel Vel rambles on, talking about how excited she is that they are finally going to be teaming up again. Because they totally didn’t do that a couple of weeks ago or anything. Geez! Anyway, in comes Winter, much to Velvet’s dismay and she informs Velvet that it will not be her in the street fight. Instead, Vel is out and Winter is in, due to Velvet’s jealousy this past Sunday at Victory Road. Winter goes to pull Angelina away but Velvet is hellbent on trying to convince A. Love that it wasn’t her fault they lost at the pay-per-view. She is sticking to her guns that she was only trying to help them. All Angelina can do is simply look annoyed and confused, albeit even, under the influence of drugs. I’m pretty sure Winter is slipping her ruffies.
My biggest pet peeve as a wrestling fan is when I read spoilers and the only description the Diva match gets is “it was a typical Diva match.” Well seriously, what in the world does that mean? Is that your polite way of saying the match was crap? An even more polite way of saying that you didn’t even watch it so “a typical Diva match” just sounds good enough to send in? I don’t get wrestling fans. I really don’t. They’re the worst sports fans in the world. They never look outside their specific comfort zone. It’s awful and ridiculous, and before I turn this into a full fledged rant, let me just get back on subject by saying this was NOT a typical Diva match. I don’t know what that means. This match was a chance for Kelly Kelly to showcase how far she’s come and how she’s able to kind of carry matches now. And it was also a chance for Layla, Kelly’s opponent, and Michelle McCool to start building up their characters towards Wrestlemania. The match itself was short and sweet, but the action itself was a lot better than the offerings the past couple of weeks.
Lay-Cool make their way to the ring first. They’re clearly back on the same page and Michelle is back to being a fashion goddess with her amazing grey mini-dress this week. Talk about one flawless looking human being! Layla looks like she always does, in case anyone cares. Unless she’s wearing the wrapping paper ring gear she looks gorgeous. So yes. Anyway, as Lay-Cool make their way to the ring, SmackDown cuts to a commercial break. It returns with Layla in the ring and Michelle sitting at the commentary booth. Josh Matthews and Booker T are hilariously no-selling Michelle, and she doesn’t even care. She takes over the broadcast with Micheal Cole. Brilliant.
Hello all! Once again on Superstars, the Raw Divas are elevated to the main event in a match that pits Eve, Natalya, Gail and Tamina vs Melina, Alicia Fox and the Bella Twins. Watch below:
After making their entrances, all Divas are in their respective corners as Tamina starts off for the babyfaces and Brie for the heels.
The two sexy, smart and powerful Divas lock up in the center of the ring. Tamina pushes Brie back with great ease, showing off her strength. Brie takes a minute to regroup by the ropes before heading for one of the Pacific Islander’s legs only to be met with a headbutt for her trouble. Brie has had enough for the moment as she tags in the Fox-iest one of them all. Alicia steps in, narrowing her eyes at the babyface Diva and greeting her with a stiff kick to the quad which temporarily takes her opponent down. The redheaded Divas hits a few stiff arms to the back before bouncing off the ropes and straight into a hard shoulder block from Tamina.
The towering Diva grabs the evil Fox by the hair, dragging her back to the babyface corner, hitting a stiff arm to the bad and tagging in Gail Kim. Kim wrenches the arm of Alicia but is immediately slammed down on her back to break the hold. Alicia grabs hold of the midsection of her new opponent, lifting her up in what looks like a belly to back suplex but ends up taking Gail down onto her stomach. Miss Fox maintains the hold for a moment but the babyface Diva is able to maneuver herself out of the hold and gains the upper hand with a headlock.
It’s here! The day we’ve been waiting for all… week? Snooki of the Jersey Shore made her long awaited and highly anticipated WWE debut as a guest host last night. Oh yeah, and someone named Trish Stratus — you may have heard of her — had a match against Vickie Guerrero. But that’s not why you’re reading this, right?! You want to hear about all the hard-hitting Snooki action, so let’s get right into it, shall we?
First we have a backstage segment featuring Snooki and Vickie with Dolph Ziggler and John Morrison playing supporting roles. Let’s see how the drama unfolds:
The segment starts off with Snooki and JoMo chatting backstage for some reason. I wasn’t really paying attention to what they were saying, but I’m assuming they were comparing spray tans. Right as Snooki offers Morrison a spot in the Jersey Shore house, Vickie and Dolph make their entrance. Vickie tells the ‘Princess of the Poof’ to keep her hands off of Dolph. Confused, Snooki asks Vickie what her problem is and Vickie tells her that Snooki getting the cover of Rolling Stone is her problem. Vickie goes on to say that she was offered the cover of Playboy, prompting Snooki to make a predictable crack on Vickie’s weight. (Insert pot and kettle joke here).
Offended, Vickie goes to slap Snooki, but Snooki blocks it and lays Vickie out with a slap of her own. Ouch. John Morrison quickly rushes Snooki away, leaving Vickie to stew in her rage and punch poor Dolph in the chest.
Not a terrible segment to be quite honest. I was expecting much, much worse. Also, Snooki’s slap looked like it hurt like hell. Guess she was taking out some of pent up anger from that time she got punched in the face…
If only the road to victory were always paved with gold. This past Thursday on Impact, we saw a six way match between The Beautiful People, Angelina Love and Velvet Sky teaming up with Winter to take on Cookie, Sarita and Angelina Pivarnick of the Jersey Shore. Yeah. That’s what I said..however, thankfully, TBP and Winter survived and now, the real Angelina and Winter must team up to defend their coveted TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championships. Who are their opponents, you ask? Well, only the Loco Latinas, Sarita and Rosita of course! I know you’re ready for this and I can say that I’m ready for this. So let’s do this!
The Knockouts action for the evening begins with a backstage segment with The Beautiful People and Winter, interviewed by Christy Hemme. The resident backstage redhead congratulates Velvet Sky on her win over Sarita and maintaining her spot with the company. She also points out that what seems the most surprising is not that win but the fact that Winter actually defended Velvet this past Thursday on Impact. Winter states that her actions last week proved that all she has ever wanted is for all of them to have friends. She says she doesn’t have an issue with Velvet but Velvet has an issue with her. She is just glad that Angelina has finally seen it all too. She is totally jealous of those leggings you’re rocking, Winter. I mean, who wouldn’t be? Velvet can’t believe it but given how Angelina just walked away, I’m wondering if she’s starting to as well… (Apologies for the lack of video).
So last week, we saw a monstrosity of a wedding that never should have happened in the first place. I mean, who renews their vows after only six months of marriage? Exactly. We also saw the continuing battle between Velvet Sky and Sarita which turned into a fist pumping party for Angelina from the Jersey Shore. This week, we’ve got that oh so awaited six way match featuring Miss Pavarnick as well as another installment in the Madison Rayne Open Challenge series. I know you’ve waited a week for it. Don’t lie. So grab a slice of humble pie, this show is about to get interesting.
Our first glimpse into Knockout beauty comes in the form of a backstage segment between The Beautiful People, Velvet Sky and Angelina Love. They are seen sitting down, lacing up their boots for their six way tag match later in the evening. They’re talking about the Jersey Shore girls and how they just can’t get enough of TBP. Naturally, as if on cue, the trio of Angelina Pavarnick, Cookie and Sarita come strolling in, much to the delight of Vel Vel and A. Love who have them confused with the football team. I’ll admit. I choked on my sweet tea. Anyway, Angelina from the Shore, tells the entire room to shut the f*** up and states that Jersey girls tell someone they’re gonna kick their ass before they actually do it. Really? Is it that important that it deserves a pre-notification? She claims it is proper etiquette and she’s going to embarass them in front of their whole crew. Who that crew is, I have no idea.
It’s been brought to my attention that since the Elimination Chamber, SmackDown doesn’t really have a clear cut storyline for their Divas. Other than the Lay-Cool teased tension, nothing has happened for anyone unless they’re named Layla or Michelle McCool. Other Divas have of course had supporting roles in this storyline and this week, it was NXT season three winner, Kaitlyn, who got a chance to take a backseat to Lay-Cool. Kaitlyn has rarely been seen since winning NXT3 a few months ago so it will be interesting to see how far she’s come, if at all. Lets take a look at how it all plays out this week.
Lay-Cool are out first. Michelle seems to have gotten a new weave and Layla’s outfit doesn’t look like an eyesore this week. Michelle, however, is not at her fashion best and I just can’t get behind the LBD/camel-colored boot combo. We are off and running, right? This is and always will be the Real Wrestling Fan’s guide to SmackDown. Kaitlyn out second with her own theme song and video. The song is horrendous but her new ring gear compliments her curves nicely; still hating on her hair. She gets a thunderous pop being the hometown gal and all, and it’s just nice to see her on SmackDown for a change.
Looking like a modern day version of the Oddities, Natalya teamed up with two of Raw’s behemoths — The Great Khali and Mark Henry — to take on her recent rival Melina and her partners, William Regal and someone that Miss Neidhart is very familiar with: Tyson Kidd.
With two members of the now defunct Hart Dynasty in this match on opposing teams, this match certainly had some intrigue about it. Check it out below:
It’s the Divas who kick things off in this match as the former champions lock up but almost instantly, Natalya rolls up the A-Lister but it’s not going to be that easy! Melina kicks out at one.
The Latina shows some of that spicy temperament as they lock up again and Melina slams Nattie down to the canvas by her hair. Adding the exclamation point, she lets out one of her patented wild screams in Natalya’s direction.
After winning a No.1 Contenders’ Battle Royal on last week’s edition of Raw, I’m sure Brie Bella was primed and ready to take on Divas Champion, Eve, in a title match this week. Unfortunately for her, she was replaced by her twin sister, Nikki in the match. There’s a joke in there somewhere about ‘Twin Magic’. In any case, this week Eve went one on one with Nikki Bella with Brie Bella in her corner. To even up the odds, Eve brought along Gail Kim for back-up. Will the Bellas’ ‘Twin Magic’ score them another victory over the champ? Check out the match below:
We come from commercial to find Eve in the ring getting a pep talk from Gail Kim. I know I’m always getting on Eve for not showing much personality, but she is oozing disgust and disdain for The Bella Twins tonight. I must say I’m impressed. Out next are The Bellas and despite being in singles action, both are dressed for in-ring action. Come on, ref. You have to see what’s coming from a mile away…
Welcome, my darlings, to the ever so late Impact Write-Up. I apologize for the serious tardy on my part. Unexpected twelve hour shifts at work are never a pleasant surprise. Now, onto the business at hand…last week, we saw the return of yet another former TNA Knockout in ODB in an answer to Madison Rayne‘s open challenge. We also saw an array of backstage segments between several other Knockouts that lead up to current happenings. This week, Impact is coming from Fayetteville, North Carolina and there is a special guest set to show up. We’ve got the ill-awaited “final” battle between two of TNA’s top Knockouts, set to end this war once and for all. Not to mention, that we’ve all been invited to a wedding! Oh Yeah. Why are we still discussing this? Let’s get this ball rolling!
In the ring first, accompanied by her tiny tot cousin Rosita, is Sarita. There’s a tongue twister for you. Set to due battle against Velvet Sky for the “final” time, to settle all the scores, Sarita is looking to dance her way through this match. I don’t really know what to make of their outfits so I won’t even being to scratch that surface. Obviously out next is Velvet, dressed in her signature color of pink and ready to get get this match started. It has been weeks after weeks of torment from Sarita and finally, Velvet has a chance to prove what she’s worth. She is accompanied to the ring by Angelina Love who looks glistening as always. Sorry guys but the pigeons are going to have to stay in the coop this week because Velvet is wasting no time getting in the ring and all up in Sarita’s grill.
Let me remind you, as Taz and Mike Tenay do several times, this match could very well be Velvet Sky’s last match in TNA if she can’t bring home the win. Anyway, Velvet is ready to do this but Sarita is set on playing games, turning around to cross her arms. The purpose? Don’t ask me. Haha. Grabbing a handful of Sarita’s hair, Velvet almost looks to pull her back but Sarita kicks back that leg, only to be caught at the ankle. Velvet comes at her with a clothesline and with a quick lift-up, Velvet counters on Sarita with a falling crossbody pin attempt. It is a quick no good and they’re both back up. A kick and a slap, double time and they’re going across the ring. I swear I got severely dizzy for a moment. I’ve been staring at a computer screen all day. Literally.
Welcome to yet another edition of the SmackDown Redux. As always it is written by yours truly and proudly sponsored by ClickWrestle dot com. Wait, this isn’t an audio show. It’s been a long week, what can I say? And honestly, speaking of long weeks, it’s a few long weeks since we last got a chance to see Beth Phoenix in action on SmackDown. This week, the Glamazon returned to the Blue Brand, teaming with her former Raw running budding, Rosa Mendes. They took on the team of former co-Diva Champions, Michelle McCool and Layla. How did the match go? Well lets take a look, shall we?
The team of Beth and Rosa make their way to the ring first. Brings back memories of Rosa being Beth’s sidekick doesn’t it? Beth is wearing her awful red Glamasuit (sorry David, but it’s an eyesore) and Rosa is wearing silver-gray and black. They pose for the fans once they’re in the ring and Lay-Cool’s theme music begins to play. Michelle and Layla, both in their eye sore outfits, do their usual shtick on the stage before they go to the ring. A video recapping Rosa’s shock win over Layla last week is shown and the dissension between Lay-Cool is teased despite the fact Michael Cole insisting everything is fine now. We switch back to the ring and Lay-Cool can’t seem to decide who will begin the match. Michelle finally takes the initiative and the bell rings. Beth and Michelle (hurt foot and all) lock up and the Glamazon is quick to get behind Michelle, lock her arms around her waist, and take her down to the mat. Beth hops up and grabs the injured foot much to Michelle’s horror. The ex-schoolteacher starts screaming and pleading, but Beth shows no mercy and slams her fist right into that boot. Michelle screams like she just got stabbed with a rusty butcher knife and while she’s withering around in pain, Beth tags in the Freakin’ Costa Rican, Rosa!
In her first interview in years, two-time WWE Women’s Champion Jazz speaks exclusively to Diva Dirt ahead of her match tomorrow night at WSU’s fourth anniversary show live on iPPV.
We talk to Jazz about her match with Alicia at the WSU iPPV, what it means to her to be part of WSU’s Hall of Fame and get her thoughts on inducting fellow former Diva, Ivory, into the Hall of Fame tomorrow night. We then take a walk down memory lane as Jazz reminisces on her 15 year career from ECW to WWE to the revival of ECW. Jazz looks back at the highlights of her career, working with Trish, wrestler’s court and also gives her candid thoughts on women’s wrestling today in WWE and TNA.
After picking up a surprising win over the Divas Champion, Eve, one might think The Bella Twins were in line for a title shot, right? Wrong. On this week’s edition on Raw, The Bellas along with Maryse, Tamina, Alicia Fox, Gail Kim and Natalya take part in a Diva Battle Royal for #1 contendership. Can The Bellas strike gold again and net themselves a shot at the strap or will some other lucky Diva come out on top? Check out the match below:
We kick things off with the champion, Eve, on commentary expressing her thought on the battle royal and facing off with the winner. The official signals for the bell and it’s every woman for themselves. Right off the bat, Natalya grabs Brie Bella and tosses her out of ring, eliminating her. Alicia follows her soon after, also eliminated by Natalya. Meanwhile, Melina knocks Tamina out of the running with a stiff kick to the head.
(Sorry for the lateness of this Redux. I don’t make this a habit but last night a migraine hit me and I couldn’t finish it. So yeah, apologies everyone.)
The six-hundredth episode of SmackDown went off without a hitch in my humble opinion and to say the Elimination Chamber was amazing would be an understatement. The momentum kept on rolling with a solid Raw, so with history not on the side of the Divas, this SmackDown can either be a hit, or it can be a total miss. I’m not entirely sure which it’s going to be because I’m writing this intro without having watched the show. So how about you great readers take this journey with me this week?
SmackDown doesn’t really waste any time getting started this week. Before the intros even roll, a video package highlighting last week’s firing of Dolph Ziggler is shown. This is relevant to us Diva fans because number one, Dolph is sexy, and number two, it involves Vickie Guerrero. And Vickie is made of win. Once the package concludes, SmackDown General Manager, Theodore Long, is shown on the screen. He says that due to Vickie’s involvement with Dolph and Dolph’s attack on him (Teddy), Teddy has every right to fire Vickie. But instead of doing that, he is going to give Vickie a chance to fight for her job. Tonight’s main event is going to be a mixed tag team match featuring the team of Vickie and former Intercontinental Champion, Drew McIntyre, taking on the team of Kelly Kelly and the World Heavyweight Champion Edge. If Drew and Vickie lose, then Vickie can kiss her SmackDown career goodbye. Teddy smiles, takes off his glasses, and the SmackDown intro begins to play.
Oh what a week it has been! I am so glad that now is the time for the weekly Diva Dirt TNA Impact Write-Up! I want to thank you for joining me and strapping in for this rollercoaster ride! Last week, we saw a beautiful former TNA Knockout return to the Impact Zone in the form of Traci Brooks. She took out the mean mugging Cookie to help her man, Kazarian. We also saw a hot sauce feud begin to come to an end between two current Knockouts and we were given a sneak peek into this week’s Impact. This week, we finally get to see how this Open Challenge fiasco is going to work for the self-proclaimed “Queen” of the Knockouts division. We are also graced with a load of backstage happenings that I can’t even begin to describe so let’s put this baby in gear and get on the road! It’s time for some action!
Our first glimpse of the Knockouts comes in the form of The Beautiful People, Angelina Love and Velvet Sky in their dressing room(aka the trailer park). Angelina seems to be trying to talk her BFF out of the career threatening match with Sarita, a challenge issued last week. Velvet says she’s aware of what Angelina is trying to say but what would Angelina do in her situation? A. Love comes back with the fact that Sarita is the point and Sarita is just loco. Not to mention, her little chihuahua of a cousin, Rosita, running around behind her. Angelina even goes on to say that it isn’t Velvet’s ability(like everyone else thinks) but it’s Sarita and she’s crazy. Velvet says it’s nothing personal but she just needs to be alone. She needs to be alone to collect her thoughts and that’s just what she gets. Angelina leaves Vel Vel to pinch her nose and battle her demons on her own. Oh Velvet. I feel for you but I hate your outfit.
After successfully defending her Divas Championship on last week’s edition of Monday Night Raw against Natalya, it looks Eve is looking to face off against new challengers. This week, Eve teams up with Gail Kim to take on The Bella Twins. Will the dastardly duo use their ‘Twin Magic’ to get one up on the champ, or can Eve and Gail get revenge for the backstage beatdown they received last week?
Check out the match below:
We start things off with all four competitors in the ring and The Bella Twins are busy talking a lot of smack. Hope they can back that up. Before the match starts, we’re treated to a replay of last week’s brawl. I swear, the image of a Bella snatching Eve up by the throat will be forever etched into my memory. With the replay done, the official signals for the bell and our match is underway.
It’s funny how things work out sometimes, isn’t it? You take a throw away pay-per-view like the Elimination Chamber, the show that’s get stuck between the big two, and you put together a rather weak card of five matches that leaves so much to be desired. For Diva fans the show appeared to suck even more because there wasn’t a match announced at all. I can’t speak for everyone, but I didn’t really want to watch the show. All day I debated whether or not to order it and my gut kept telling me to do it; give the show a chance and you won’t be disappointed. The show ended up getting ordered and low and behold it blew the Royal Rumble completely out of the water. Not only did the matches deliver, but the show was full of surprises. New champions were crowned, both Elimination Chambers far exceeded expectations, and the WWE continued their theme of shock/awe returns. That Diva match never happened but if you want my humble opinion (and you know you do), what we got was much, much better.
When an announcer gets in the ring for what seems to be no apparent reason, I, like all Diva fans should, cringe because it usually spells bad things for the girls. Diva dance offs or bikini contests, or something that’s not a match, usually ends up taking place. So when Booker T got in the ring, my reaction was natural. Booker T has a microphone and he says that he wants to introduce somebody and that this somebody is going to be a trainer on the new season of Tough Enough along with himself and “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. He glances in the direction of the stage and a few seconds later some very familiar theme musics begins to play.
Welcome everyone to this glorious edition of the SmackDown Redux dedicated to the A-List’s show 600th episode! Congratulations to the WWE and to all the Divas and Superstars who have appeared on the Blue Brand over the years. SmackDown has proven to itself to be the home for better wrestling, better storyline, and overall, it’s just more consistent on a week-to-week basis. That especially rings true for the Divas, who usually get pushed off the show for special occasions on Raw. SmackDown’s 600th episode provided us with a tag team match that featured Diva’s Champion, Eve, teaming up with the Glamazon, Beth Phoenix, taking on the team of Layla and Maryse. An injured Michelle McCool was at ringside providing commentary.
We kick things off this week with Eve’s terrible theme music blaring throughout the arena. The champ and her partner, Beth, make their way to the stage. They do their trademark poses, play to the crowd, and make their way to the ring. Once inside they pose some more and SmackDown goes to commercial break. When it returns, ex-champ Michelle is at ringside with the trio of announcers that does NOT include Matt Striker anymore (so bitter), and Maryse and Layla are in the ring. Everyone is ready for action.
Hola my little churros! It is that time again, for another edition of the Diva Dirt TNA iMPACT! Write-Up! You all know who I am and I know who most of you who are. We’re forming a bond here so let’s keep it strong. Last week, I missed iMPACT! due to a bout of bronchitis that hit me like a speeding truck so I want to thank Melanie for filling in for me. She’s gorgeous. Much love to her. I do know that last week, we saw the highly anticipated debut of Sarita‘s familia in Rosita, the newest Knockout to grace the scene. That was a rather interesting eight Knockout tag team match.
This week, Muy Caliente(oh it’s gonna stick) is taking on The Beautiful People in a tag team match that is bound to be salsarific! We also got a random dose of fist pumpin’ this week in the form of hairspray highhats and self tanner. And we all know how TNA loves to surprise us, so if you haven’t watched by this point, buckle up. It’s going to be a bumpy ride! Vamos!
Our Knockouts action for this week really starts out in a match between the X-Division Champion, Kazarian and the contender, Robbie E. We all know his loudmouth counterpart, Cookie from the Jersey Shore. Oh yes. She was most definitely there, dressed in all her drunken stupor glory. Before the match started, Robbie E. is seen cutting a little promo in the ring, talking about how TNA management through a grenade at him this past Sunday at Against All Odds. Oh darling, I would NOT catch a grenade for you. Sorry Bruno Mars. Anyway, he claims he was ready to take on two dudes, not one dude but TWO. But now, he’s ready. He’s got Cooks, his hairgel, self-tanner and random letters on his crotch that mean nothing to the world. He is so ready because Jersey’s in the house, bitches!
Backstage, we see Kazarian with his lips all over, who else, but his real life wife, Traci Brooks! This is the first time we’ve seen Traci on TNA television since February of last year and honestly, she looks great from the ribcage up. Haha. The two have a mini makeout session, no doubt a good luck before the match and Kazarian makes his way to the ring. It was a good going on Mike Tenay’s part, re-stating that Traci was the original Knockout. Indeed, she was. On to the matter at hand, Kazarian spends a little time pre-match, cutting a promo as usual. He says that TNA was built on the foundation of the X-Division. “Maybe not as much foundation that’s on Cookie’s face right now, but you get the point.” Oh how true it is.
Cue the major malfunction meltdown from TNA’s Jersey Shore princess.
After picking up a win over Melina and The Bella Twins on last week’s edition of Raw, Divas Champion Eve had a full head of steam going into her title match on this week’s edition. However, the #1 contender Natalya was looking to settle her tea kettle and relieve her of the belt. That said, the champion and challenger probably didn’t expect the match to be a lumberjill match. How will Natalya and Eve fare with the rest of the roster standing guard outside of the ring? Check out the match below:
We come from commercial to find Natalya in the ring awaiting her opponent, while the lumberjills lined the ring in their Sunday best. Eve makes her way to the ring next to a decent reaction from the crowd. In the spirit of friendly competition, both Divas shake hand and our championship match is underway.
(This is Cryssi posting on April’s behalf. Everything was written by her!)
Hello my lovelies! It is that time of the month again, when all the frustration has built up and it’s finally time to settle the score. This feud between the two key Knockouts featured on the Against All Odds card has been rocky, to say the least. They’ve battled back and forth, knocked each other out, knocked themselves out and yet still, the TNA Knockouts Championship has yet to change hands. Whether it’s an interference from the veteran bodyguard or focus on the tag team titles, it seems the Knockouts title is put on the backburner far too often. But not this time. Ladies and Gents, we saw a Last Knockout Standing match and well….we might as well get to it.
In normal pay-per-view fashion, we start out with a backstage interview with the number one contender, Mickie James. She is seen standing with the lovely Christy Hemme, who definitely impressed me with her chic look. As for Mickie, or should I say Pocahontas, not so much. For those just watching, you will see what I mean momentarily. Christy tells Mickie that she must be excited going after the belt and Mickie says that tonight is her night. The only thing standing in her way is a mouthy, bratty little bi…chump. She makes a very good point when she says, the only reason Madison Rayne has that belt is because someone laid down for her. Mickie also warns that tonight, when Madison lays down for her, she won’t be getting back up. Meow! Time for the recap video package!
HARDCORE COUNTRY! And here we go! Bounding down the ramp first is the challenger, Mickie James. See what I mean about that outfit? I’m wondering how many innocent cattle had to die to make that outfit. Maybe if she wins, we’ll get a rain dance. Sorry. I keed. Her opponent is out next, in a brand spankin’ new…colored..outfit. SHE’S A KILLER QUEEN! Well, I wished for Madison to get a new outfit with that bonus check and I guess I should be careful what I wish for. It’s a new color, still the same beer wench attire. However, she believes she’s fabulous so who am I to rain on her parade? I’ll leave that to Mickie and her tribal dancing. Madison makes her way to the ring, glove on hand with her crown and sash combination. She gives her newly patented princess wave to the crowd and takes her time getting in the ring. Mickie isn’t impressed and I’m pretty sure no one in attendance is either.
A not so appropriate title for this week’s SmackDown Redux would be “The Hangover Edition” but that’s incredibly unfair to the newly crowned Diva’s Champion, Eve, and her opponent on this week’s episode of the A-List show, Layla. However, after last week’s epic episode, I truly felt like this week was nothing more than a buzz kill. The match itself was okay, and so was the backstage segment that featured Michelle McCool and Vickie Guerrero(…and Dolph Ziggler). But unfortunately it just failed to live up to the high expectations that last week set.
Of course, I’m getting ahead of myself. This is not the time to talk about my personal opinion. This is merely the introduction so let me get all generic on you people and say…
WITHOUT FURTHER ADO HEREEEEEEE’S SMACKDOWN!
Tonight’s Diva portion of the show kicked off with a segment. Lay-Cool are walking backstage with Layla dressed to wrestle. They’re chatting about the Royal Rumble and Michelle calls Eve a snake. They agree that she didn’t deserve to be in that match at the Rumble and Michelle says that it’s all because it was Lay-Cool’s rematch. They can’t decide how Eve got into the match and Michelle seems a little annoyed that no one ever seems to help them out like that. They agree that Eve’s victory was nothing more than a fluke and Michelle makes the statement that had the referee been doing his job correctly that she would be the new Diva’s Champion. Layla stops them and goes “don’t you mean we?” Michelle just looks at her and goes “yay, whatever Lay.” This insults Layla and rightfully so, but before she can reply, the door to Vickie’s office swings open and out walks the woman herself.
Last night’s Impact saw the debut of a new Knockout, Rosita, who was introduced as the ‘cousin’ of Sarita. How would the newcomer measure up in her debut night? And how would TNA give Mickie and Madison’s big title match this Sunday one last push? Let’s find out…
Earlier in the evening, we catch Angelina Love’s cohorts, Velvet Sky and Winter arguing backstage before she proceeds to shut it down and try to get them on the same page. Obviously, that’s not going to work. Anyone who’s been torn between a friend and a lover who don’t like each other can probably attest to that. Which begs the question – who is the ‘friend’ and who is the ‘lover’ in this scenario? Winter or Velvet? You decide.
Anyhoo, it’s match time and we are ready to meet our new Knockout! Regardez:
Sarita is out first and her cousin Rosita is not far behind. The duo salsa down the ramp before doing a little skit in the ring. Next out is the team of Tara & Madison Rayne. On the babyface side, the BPs and Winter come out which leads to a funny yet awkward situation as Winter, like Velvet, tries to crawl through Angelina’s legs for her entrance. Angie acts violated while Winter looks rather pleased with herself. Next out is Hardcore Country herself, Mickie James. By my count, that’s eight Knockouts — okay, we’re ready to go!
